This has been a long overdue post..The last few days have been a whirlwind.
Anyhow, let me proudly announce that i am now a postgraduate. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, i have graduated. I shall upload the pics a little later..laziness wins for now.
The convocation was much fun. I had the duty of tying sarees for half the girls hostel. The family then arrived. And was it a big group or what. Eleven of them, a cricket team in themselves - wielding cameras instead of bats and balls. Pictures were taken in various poses and against various backgrounds. Robes were worn and so were caps with tassels. There was clapping and whistling and hooting..There was food and apple juice. There was laughter and tears.. I cried ocean loads and so did many others. Richy apparently hugged the pillars at the hostel.
Vinodh Mehta, the editor of Outlook, was the chief guest. His speech was a tad too long but quite interesting. I liked his closing lines the best - "News is what someone somewhere doesn't want published."
Amma had bought sweets for all my professors and had written personal letters to them. It was much appreciated by the profs. Wish she had done all this in the beginning of sem, i might have gained some brownie points.
Anyhow, the convocation ended. After some tearful hugs and kisses and promises to keep in touch, we headed to our hometowns. I have some of the fondest memories of IIJNM. It has been an year of laughter, tears and a lot of learning. I have made some really good friends. And found some really inspiring teachers. I owe a lot to this institute and one day, i hope to make it proud.
IIJNM, i shall miss you.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 09, 2008
Sunny side up
So my dear friend Sunny (not Sunil Gavaskar) has been pestering me to write a post about him so i thought i would oblige.
Now Sunny aka Sandeep Pampati and i have had a hate-love relationship. We used to hate each other in the beginning of our acquaintance. It was only after i moved out of Hyderabad that we started being civil to each other. We were neighbors and classmates but we rarely exchanged a word or two. I still remember him sending his brother to borrow my english workbooks. Such was the mutual animosity.
But then time flies and people change and so did we. I got his id thru my yahoo school group and added him cos i wanted his brothers id. Turns out, I rarely chat with his brother these days but exchange a word or two woth him almost every few hours. Such are the powers of the internet.
He has asked me to sing praises of him so i shall begin by saying that there is nothing praiseworthy about him. :D
Heh. Well, he is quite a funny guy. He is the guy i call up when i need a shoulder to cry on. Or when i need a good laugh. He loves to make fun of me. He gets fooled quite easy. Once Archi and i fooled him saying that my marriage was fixed. He actually fell for it. That when i was just 19 years old!!
We have had the most absurd of chat conversations. We have exchanged life stories. We have raved. And we have ranted. We have been through thick and thin, tall and long and we have survived it all.
Sunny, you have really made my life more sunny. Thanks for being there for me.
Now Sunny aka Sandeep Pampati and i have had a hate-love relationship. We used to hate each other in the beginning of our acquaintance. It was only after i moved out of Hyderabad that we started being civil to each other. We were neighbors and classmates but we rarely exchanged a word or two. I still remember him sending his brother to borrow my english workbooks. Such was the mutual animosity.
But then time flies and people change and so did we. I got his id thru my yahoo school group and added him cos i wanted his brothers id. Turns out, I rarely chat with his brother these days but exchange a word or two woth him almost every few hours. Such are the powers of the internet.
He has asked me to sing praises of him so i shall begin by saying that there is nothing praiseworthy about him. :D
Heh. Well, he is quite a funny guy. He is the guy i call up when i need a shoulder to cry on. Or when i need a good laugh. He loves to make fun of me. He gets fooled quite easy. Once Archi and i fooled him saying that my marriage was fixed. He actually fell for it. That when i was just 19 years old!!
We have had the most absurd of chat conversations. We have exchanged life stories. We have raved. And we have ranted. We have been through thick and thin, tall and long and we have survived it all.
Sunny, you have really made my life more sunny. Thanks for being there for me.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Arbit stuff
So g-man tagged me....and here goes...
rules:
1. each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. people who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. at the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names. don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
4. if you fail to do this within eight hours, you will not reach third series or attain your most precious goals for at least two more lifetimes.
and here we go...
1. I am terrified of riding cycles...even pillion on a two-wheeler is a little scary...I met with an accident the first time i cycled on a main road so the fear is ingrained i guess.. and the first time i rode a tvs, i dashed into a croton plant and broke it..amma was much upset
2. I once ran away from home...for seven whole days...the story is a whole new blog post in itself
3. i intend to write an autobiography of myself sometime soon...
4. i plan to live on the streets for sometime
5. i once tried killing myself...actually more than once...but as you can see it, i failed..
6. I am certified clinically insane
7. i don't like round digits and multiples of five... i prefer the numbers in between like 46 and 72
8. i had much fun typing out this post and i hope that it shall generate much curiousity..plus, i have become fat as a cabbage now
I tag Gayatri, Dielle, Juggy, Sniggy, Debasis, Itika, Sameer, Vaishnavi
rules:
1. each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. people who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. at the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names. don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
4. if you fail to do this within eight hours, you will not reach third series or attain your most precious goals for at least two more lifetimes.
and here we go...
1. I am terrified of riding cycles...even pillion on a two-wheeler is a little scary...I met with an accident the first time i cycled on a main road so the fear is ingrained i guess.. and the first time i rode a tvs, i dashed into a croton plant and broke it..amma was much upset
2. I once ran away from home...for seven whole days...the story is a whole new blog post in itself
3. i intend to write an autobiography of myself sometime soon...
4. i plan to live on the streets for sometime
5. i once tried killing myself...actually more than once...but as you can see it, i failed..
6. I am certified clinically insane
7. i don't like round digits and multiples of five... i prefer the numbers in between like 46 and 72
8. i had much fun typing out this post and i hope that it shall generate much curiousity..plus, i have become fat as a cabbage now
I tag Gayatri, Dielle, Juggy, Sniggy, Debasis, Itika, Sameer, Vaishnavi
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The countdown begins
The madness has begun. And i am playing the silent spectator.
Yes folks, I am referring to the madness at the eleventh hour thirty fourth minute twenty sixth second of the Times of India launch. The first half of the day seemed a little dull. But that was because i was sitting in the reporters desk and they had already finished all their work. Later on, I moved over to the page makers' desk and that was where all the excitement was. People were running hither-tither discussing which stories go where and which pictures to use.
For the most part, I watched. And laughed. But not out loud for i didn't fancy getting fired in the first week of work. The insides of my head echoed with my guffaws but on the outside, i maintained a nonchalant expression. I was not laughing at the poor souls, mind you, but at the madness that enveloped them.
An hour and a half more to go before the dreaded deadline. I just wonder whether any order will be able to squeeze its way through this mass of chaos.
Yes folks, I am referring to the madness at the eleventh hour thirty fourth minute twenty sixth second of the Times of India launch. The first half of the day seemed a little dull. But that was because i was sitting in the reporters desk and they had already finished all their work. Later on, I moved over to the page makers' desk and that was where all the excitement was. People were running hither-tither discussing which stories go where and which pictures to use.
For the most part, I watched. And laughed. But not out loud for i didn't fancy getting fired in the first week of work. The insides of my head echoed with my guffaws but on the outside, i maintained a nonchalant expression. I was not laughing at the poor souls, mind you, but at the madness that enveloped them.
An hour and a half more to go before the dreaded deadline. I just wonder whether any order will be able to squeeze its way through this mass of chaos.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Of craponomic and nose picking
My uncle had come home today. The conversation, as is the norm these days, was about my job. Among the many questions he asked me, one of them was - What are you specialising in?
Now, I pride myslef in being a Jack-of-all-trades. Specialisation has never held much allure to me. So when the question was posed, i drew a blank. The uncle, who is one of the most focussed beings i have ever come across, was aghast. He always thought of me as a highly focussed sensible girl. Little did he realise that i was someone who enjoyed writing about crap (literally) rather than the intricracies of Tamil Nadu politics.
So anyway, the question stuck on my mind and hanunted me throughout my hour-long bus ride to the office. This is not the first time I have heard about the specialisation craze. One of my professors at college keeps ranting about how we must leave our jobs after an year or two and go specialise - in anything, even anthropology.
Now imagine spending some of the best years of your life studying something like that. Sheesh.
Someone once told me that man is by nature, polygamous. I agree. One woman is not enough to satiate man's insatiable appetite. Similarly, one subject is not enough to engage man's attention for a lifetime. At the risk of sounding trite, Variety is indeed the spice of life.
So here's a word of advise for all you Jacks out there. The next time someone asks you what you are specialsing in, politely ask them to Please f*** off.
But then again, if they were awarding doctorates in Craponomics, I would galdly jump into the wagon.
p.s. talkin about specialisation brings me to the topic of absurd research. To compete with the Nobels, some smart-asses have come out with the Ig Nobel awards. Here's a gem from the website:
Ig Nobel for PUBLIC HEALTH
Chittaranjan Andrade and B.S. Srihari of the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, Bangalore, India, for their probing medical discovery that nose picking is a common activity among adolescents. [REFERENCE: "A Preliminary Survey of Rhinotillexomania in an Adolescent Sample," Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, vol. 62, no. 6, June 2001, pp. 426-31.]
Now, I pride myslef in being a Jack-of-all-trades. Specialisation has never held much allure to me. So when the question was posed, i drew a blank. The uncle, who is one of the most focussed beings i have ever come across, was aghast. He always thought of me as a highly focussed sensible girl. Little did he realise that i was someone who enjoyed writing about crap (literally) rather than the intricracies of Tamil Nadu politics.
So anyway, the question stuck on my mind and hanunted me throughout my hour-long bus ride to the office. This is not the first time I have heard about the specialisation craze. One of my professors at college keeps ranting about how we must leave our jobs after an year or two and go specialise - in anything, even anthropology.
Now imagine spending some of the best years of your life studying something like that. Sheesh.
Someone once told me that man is by nature, polygamous. I agree. One woman is not enough to satiate man's insatiable appetite. Similarly, one subject is not enough to engage man's attention for a lifetime. At the risk of sounding trite, Variety is indeed the spice of life.
So here's a word of advise for all you Jacks out there. The next time someone asks you what you are specialsing in, politely ask them to Please f*** off.
But then again, if they were awarding doctorates in Craponomics, I would galdly jump into the wagon.
p.s. talkin about specialisation brings me to the topic of absurd research. To compete with the Nobels, some smart-asses have come out with the Ig Nobel awards. Here's a gem from the website:
Ig Nobel for PUBLIC HEALTH
Chittaranjan Andrade and B.S. Srihari of the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, Bangalore, India, for their probing medical discovery that nose picking is a common activity among adolescents. [REFERENCE: "A Preliminary Survey of Rhinotillexomania in an Adolescent Sample," Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, vol. 62, no. 6, June 2001, pp. 426-31.]
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tag it
Still at office with nothing much to do except watch other work. I have noticed that people get very conscious if you watch them at work and tend to goof up a lot. So i let them have their peace and quiet anc came back to my system.
Picked up this tag from g-man's blog. so here goes:
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATRE
JOdha Akbar. Oh no. I actually went to watch "The lives of others" and walked off midway not because it was a bad movie but cos i had a fight with one of my friends. We ahve patche dup by the way
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Bel Canto - Ann Patchett
Anne of Avonlea - L.M.Montgomery. I first read Anne of Greeen Gables as a child and loved it. Decided to finsih the series even though i m not 12 anymore.
3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME
MAD
4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE
Outlook
5. FAVORITE SMELLS
rain...wet earth
6. FAVORITE SOUND
sound of silence
7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD
guilt
8. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
am i late for college??
9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE
American corner
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME
Payal
11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D..."
buy a house by the sea
12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
no
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
eeks no
14. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY
depends on teh magnitude of the storm
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
yet to get one
16. FAVORITE DRINK
water.chileld.
17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD..."
spend more time reading
18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
yup
19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
jet black
20. NAME ALL THE CITIES/TOWNS YOU'VE LIVED IN
Bhilai, kanpur, Sandila, Lucknow, Vizag, Dommeru, tadepalligudem, Hyderabad, Chennai, Bangalore
21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
tennis
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU
amazing sense of humour
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
a suitcase and a bucket and dust
24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
yes
25. MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?
evening person
26. OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP
sunny side up
27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX
my bed
28. FAVORITE PIE
peach pie
29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR
Chocolate, butterscotch and pista...
Picked up this tag from g-man's blog. so here goes:
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATRE
JOdha Akbar. Oh no. I actually went to watch "The lives of others" and walked off midway not because it was a bad movie but cos i had a fight with one of my friends. We ahve patche dup by the way
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Bel Canto - Ann Patchett
Anne of Avonlea - L.M.Montgomery. I first read Anne of Greeen Gables as a child and loved it. Decided to finsih the series even though i m not 12 anymore.
3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME
MAD
4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE
Outlook
5. FAVORITE SMELLS
rain...wet earth
6. FAVORITE SOUND
sound of silence
7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD
guilt
8. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
am i late for college??
9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE
American corner
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME
Payal
11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D..."
buy a house by the sea
12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
no
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
eeks no
14. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY
depends on teh magnitude of the storm
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
yet to get one
16. FAVORITE DRINK
water.chileld.
17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD..."
spend more time reading
18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
yup
19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
jet black
20. NAME ALL THE CITIES/TOWNS YOU'VE LIVED IN
Bhilai, kanpur, Sandila, Lucknow, Vizag, Dommeru, tadepalligudem, Hyderabad, Chennai, Bangalore
21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
tennis
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU
amazing sense of humour
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
a suitcase and a bucket and dust
24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
yes
25. MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?
evening person
26. OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP
sunny side up
27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX
my bed
28. FAVORITE PIE
peach pie
29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR
Chocolate, butterscotch and pista...
Farty tales
Warning: Not to be read if food has been consumed in the past 2 hours. Possibility of inducing vommiting sensation.
So I am still at work. And i have nothing to do. So i decided to indulge in some more blogging.
Thankfully work allows u to use gmail so i keep chatting half the time.
I was just chatting with a colleague/friend who quite liked my article on the new gas. So i decided to enlighten him a little more on the fine art of farting.
Now mine is a family where the dinner time discussions usually are about post-dinner activities such as shitting and farting. My brother is quite obsessed with the two of them and my father openly encourages his interests much to my mother's distress. So this other day the bhai was narrating this particular incident during a sumptuous lunch of vethakozhambu and vazhathandu sabzi.
Now I have two bhais. the one related to me by blood is Shankar and the other is my cousin Prashanth. Shankar is the original prankster and makes life terrible for Prashanth and I. So this one day he hurriedly calls Prashanth to the loo saying that there is a big insect in the toilet. Prashanth runs behind him and lifts the seat only to find pieces of Shankar's shit floating in the pot. EEKS..That's how disgusting my brother is.
And then of course is the famous sloka (on the different types of farts) that my brother is always narrating. The sloka has been passed on from my graun aunt to my father and from him to my brother. It describes the four kinds of farts. here is how it goes:
Dam dam damarugma natham
Pee pee madyamam
Kaschi pischi maha ghoram
Nishabdam pranasankatam
I guess the sloka is quite self-explanatory. My brother has categorised each of us into one of the above four slots and he is a master of all four of them.
Enough of farty tales for now. Will keep you posted on any updates.
So I am still at work. And i have nothing to do. So i decided to indulge in some more blogging.
Thankfully work allows u to use gmail so i keep chatting half the time.
I was just chatting with a colleague/friend who quite liked my article on the new gas. So i decided to enlighten him a little more on the fine art of farting.
Now mine is a family where the dinner time discussions usually are about post-dinner activities such as shitting and farting. My brother is quite obsessed with the two of them and my father openly encourages his interests much to my mother's distress. So this other day the bhai was narrating this particular incident during a sumptuous lunch of vethakozhambu and vazhathandu sabzi.
Now I have two bhais. the one related to me by blood is Shankar and the other is my cousin Prashanth. Shankar is the original prankster and makes life terrible for Prashanth and I. So this one day he hurriedly calls Prashanth to the loo saying that there is a big insect in the toilet. Prashanth runs behind him and lifts the seat only to find pieces of Shankar's shit floating in the pot. EEKS..That's how disgusting my brother is.
And then of course is the famous sloka (on the different types of farts) that my brother is always narrating. The sloka has been passed on from my graun aunt to my father and from him to my brother. It describes the four kinds of farts. here is how it goes:
Dam dam damarugma natham
Pee pee madyamam
Kaschi pischi maha ghoram
Nishabdam pranasankatam
I guess the sloka is quite self-explanatory. My brother has categorised each of us into one of the above four slots and he is a master of all four of them.
Enough of farty tales for now. Will keep you posted on any updates.
Next Change
I can't belive that i have actually started working. It seems just yesterday that i went to school for the first time. My mother still keeps recounting that day to me. We were living in Vizag in those days. Being the goody-goody girl that i was in those days, I was visibly excited about entering the divine portals of learning.
So i wear my new uniform, tie bright red ribbons on my hair and get ready for my ABCD's. I enter school all smiling. And then i see the rest of my classmates weeping buckets. Its a miracle the classroom was not flooded.
So i see these tiny tots in tears and in a few nanoseconds, i am competing with the loudest of them in a wailing competition.
First day at office was quite different though. No tears were shed - crocodile or otherwise. This is the pre-launch week at Times of India, Chennai and so there is quite a buzz in the office.
Yesterday was the first day.
Consumed yummy jalebis for lunch at Dhaba Express.
That was not all that was had. The rest cannot be named for fear that the family might check on the blog ocassionally.
A report on a press release was written and liked by the boss.
An attempt was made to look busy and do nothing.
The above attempt was successful.
Gotat go, someone's shouting out for me
Ciao
So i wear my new uniform, tie bright red ribbons on my hair and get ready for my ABCD's. I enter school all smiling. And then i see the rest of my classmates weeping buckets. Its a miracle the classroom was not flooded.
So i see these tiny tots in tears and in a few nanoseconds, i am competing with the loudest of them in a wailing competition.
First day at office was quite different though. No tears were shed - crocodile or otherwise. This is the pre-launch week at Times of India, Chennai and so there is quite a buzz in the office.
Yesterday was the first day.
Consumed yummy jalebis for lunch at Dhaba Express.
That was not all that was had. The rest cannot be named for fear that the family might check on the blog ocassionally.
A report on a press release was written and liked by the boss.
An attempt was made to look busy and do nothing.
The above attempt was successful.
Gotat go, someone's shouting out for me
Ciao
Saturday, March 29, 2008
It's been a while
Statutory warning: Do not read this post unless you happen to like the sensation that comes out of hitting your head 483 times on a cement wall of 22cms thickness.
It's been a long long while since i last visited my blog. And much guilt comes.
The greatest paradox of my life must be that i am in journalism school and still, face a dearth of topics to write on. Why is that? Is it because i want to write only the very best that i overlook other topics that could make for good reading? Is it because I am so bogged down with writing assignments that writing for pleasure seems no longer pleasurable? I don't know what the reasons are, but i know this much - if i stop writing now, i will never become a good writer.
So i solemnly swear on the Bhagavad Gita/Bible/Qoran that i shall write more often, even if it be utter rubbish. And what better way to start than with random rantings.
* The last 10 days have been a weird mix. some of the best, followed by some of the laziest. I must have made umpteen resolutions to myself to get out of this rut but all i seem to be doing these days is sleeping and eating.
* I don't know why but the skin on my fingers is peeling off. Some say it's vitamin C deficiency. I think it's nature's way of telling me to stop my fingers from wasting away. I hope that typing out this blog shall prove to be the cure
* Writing can be therapeutic.
* I think this is the forst time i spelt therapeutic right.
* wow! i did it twice in a row...without looking it up on dictionary.com
* which, by the way, is one of my favourite sites
* talking about favourite sites, please to check out www.indiauncut.com
* i immensely dislike it when people play loud music in public places. it happens a lot in our lab.
* i have this feeling that the blog is getting boring, but again,who cares!
* actually i do care. but i am too lazy to rewrite this entire thing.
* I am horrible at public speaking.
* and now, i am tired. so i shall go back to the hostel while you break your heads over having wasted five minutes of your life over this piece of crocodile shit.
It's been a long long while since i last visited my blog. And much guilt comes.
The greatest paradox of my life must be that i am in journalism school and still, face a dearth of topics to write on. Why is that? Is it because i want to write only the very best that i overlook other topics that could make for good reading? Is it because I am so bogged down with writing assignments that writing for pleasure seems no longer pleasurable? I don't know what the reasons are, but i know this much - if i stop writing now, i will never become a good writer.
So i solemnly swear on the Bhagavad Gita/Bible/Qoran that i shall write more often, even if it be utter rubbish. And what better way to start than with random rantings.
* The last 10 days have been a weird mix. some of the best, followed by some of the laziest. I must have made umpteen resolutions to myself to get out of this rut but all i seem to be doing these days is sleeping and eating.
* I don't know why but the skin on my fingers is peeling off. Some say it's vitamin C deficiency. I think it's nature's way of telling me to stop my fingers from wasting away. I hope that typing out this blog shall prove to be the cure
* Writing can be therapeutic.
* I think this is the forst time i spelt therapeutic right.
* wow! i did it twice in a row...without looking it up on dictionary.com
* which, by the way, is one of my favourite sites
* talking about favourite sites, please to check out www.indiauncut.com
* i immensely dislike it when people play loud music in public places. it happens a lot in our lab.
* i have this feeling that the blog is getting boring, but again,who cares!
* actually i do care. but i am too lazy to rewrite this entire thing.
* I am horrible at public speaking.
* and now, i am tired. so i shall go back to the hostel while you break your heads over having wasted five minutes of your life over this piece of crocodile shit.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Aaja ban karle
Hey all, This is another article that came recently in the new indian express. do read and comment please. much distressed i am because of the paucity of comments.
So now that the U.P. and Punjab governments have objected to lines from songs the movie Aaja Nach Le, many other movies are being passed under the scanner for objectionable scenes and lines. Most of these are old movies that have already disappeared from the scene of the box office.
First off, we have the blockbuster hit Titanic. Critics to the movie have expressed deep hurt that though the movie circles around an iceberg in the deep Atlantic, several sea animals have been blatantly ignored and have not been included in the plot. The against-everything environmentalists have expressed their condemnation against the director saying that a polar bear would have made a better hero than Leonardo di Caprio and that a dolphin could have very well played the female lead. Moreover, a walrus could have played the villain.
Next in line was the movie Jurassic Park. The Society of Paleontologists has expressed their deep hurt when they saw their entire profession being turned into a farce. “How could dinosaurs and man exist at the same point in history?” asks a completely bewildered paleontologist.
Meanwhile, moving on to Bollywood, there have been quite a few Hindi movies that gave come under the scanner as well. For starters, there is the evergreen hit Sholay. Several women’s right activists have objected to the line “Kitne aadmi the Kaalia?” and they feel that Gabbar Singh should have enquired about the women at Ramgarh as well.
The censor board is also looking to ban the Suraj Barjatiya joint family drama/romance/action/murder mystery movie Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. The grounds for banning this movie are that the movie blatantly promoted joint families with hordes of kids while India was promoting the “Hum do humare do” campaign.
Meanwhile, the blockbuster Kajol-Shahrukh-Karan Johar starrer Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge was banned for promoting the very thing that is banned under section 356. That which should not be named.
The Aamir Khan starrer Lagaan was also banned as it showed partiality only to one sport, that too to a sport that was not the national sport. Chak De India, meanwhile, was praised highly for promoting hockey among the masses. There are talks that the title song might soon replace Jana Gana Mana as the national anthem.
Apparently all future movie productions will now have to undergo a private screening with the CUT (Censoring for Useless Things) Board. The board has been formed only to keep a check on such movies. Very soon, the government is planning to unprivatise the film sector and start making movies only on the national sport, national bird, national animal etc.
So now that the U.P. and Punjab governments have objected to lines from songs the movie Aaja Nach Le, many other movies are being passed under the scanner for objectionable scenes and lines. Most of these are old movies that have already disappeared from the scene of the box office.
First off, we have the blockbuster hit Titanic. Critics to the movie have expressed deep hurt that though the movie circles around an iceberg in the deep Atlantic, several sea animals have been blatantly ignored and have not been included in the plot. The against-everything environmentalists have expressed their condemnation against the director saying that a polar bear would have made a better hero than Leonardo di Caprio and that a dolphin could have very well played the female lead. Moreover, a walrus could have played the villain.
Next in line was the movie Jurassic Park. The Society of Paleontologists has expressed their deep hurt when they saw their entire profession being turned into a farce. “How could dinosaurs and man exist at the same point in history?” asks a completely bewildered paleontologist.
Meanwhile, moving on to Bollywood, there have been quite a few Hindi movies that gave come under the scanner as well. For starters, there is the evergreen hit Sholay. Several women’s right activists have objected to the line “Kitne aadmi the Kaalia?” and they feel that Gabbar Singh should have enquired about the women at Ramgarh as well.
The censor board is also looking to ban the Suraj Barjatiya joint family drama/romance/action/murder mystery movie Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. The grounds for banning this movie are that the movie blatantly promoted joint families with hordes of kids while India was promoting the “Hum do humare do” campaign.
Meanwhile, the blockbuster Kajol-Shahrukh-Karan Johar starrer Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge was banned for promoting the very thing that is banned under section 356. That which should not be named.
The Aamir Khan starrer Lagaan was also banned as it showed partiality only to one sport, that too to a sport that was not the national sport. Chak De India, meanwhile, was praised highly for promoting hockey among the masses. There are talks that the title song might soon replace Jana Gana Mana as the national anthem.
Apparently all future movie productions will now have to undergo a private screening with the CUT (Censoring for Useless Things) Board. The board has been formed only to keep a check on such movies. Very soon, the government is planning to unprivatise the film sector and start making movies only on the national sport, national bird, national animal etc.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Remember
to take your handkerchief/box of tissues along with you when you go to watch Taare Zameen Par. and don't by any chance miss the movie. beautiful is an understatement for it...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Platinum is it???
yup, i think it is platinum...if you are wondering why i am going on and on about the most precious metal, it is not because i want you tp propose to me with a diamond studded platinum ring.. it is because this blog can finally boast of 75 posts...so three cheers..or rather, 75 cheers...
am in the indian epress office right now..got 2 more hours to go before i can catch the bus back home...dreary concept that, having to trudge through the bylanes of chennai...for 10 days in a row. par kya kare. life's like that only..
by chance yday when i was browsing through the indian express, i notice my name again on the editorial page. yup, 3rd article. one that i had sent a long while ago and had almost forgotten about. please to pat me on the back next time you see me for all that i have achieved in a span of two months.
woops...the boss beckons and i must rush
adieu all
am in the indian epress office right now..got 2 more hours to go before i can catch the bus back home...dreary concept that, having to trudge through the bylanes of chennai...for 10 days in a row. par kya kare. life's like that only..
by chance yday when i was browsing through the indian express, i notice my name again on the editorial page. yup, 3rd article. one that i had sent a long while ago and had almost forgotten about. please to pat me on the back next time you see me for all that i have achieved in a span of two months.
woops...the boss beckons and i must rush
adieu all
Thursday, December 13, 2007
There she goes
hey all...this is another article of mine that got published in the Indian express...
Last Monday, Rajasthan House at New Delhi played host to an interesting array of persons from all races, cultures and complexions. On the one hand were men clad in green, performing genuflections at periodic intervals, holding placards reading, "Get lost Naslima". On the other, were men, women and bald-headed babies from all over Planet Earth (except of course the green nations), holding placards that read some weird gibberish. Gibberish it was because these people were predominantly from third world countries and had written the placards in their native tongue. Since languages like Azerbaijani were not popular in India, it was hard to find a translator. Moreover, their shouts and cries of protest were also in those foreign languages and so it was hard to decipher what they were trying so hard to say. However, some ingenuous Indian journalists, with the help of the Universal Sign Language, managed to crack the code. These Third World protestors were shouting, "Come home to us, Naslima".
From Armenia to Zaire and from Burkina Faso to Tajikistan, most countries had their representatives clamouring for Naslima's attention. They all wanted the same thing. They wanted her to take asylum in their nation. However, Naslima wanted to disappear to the Bermuda. But the people of Bermuda were against this as they felt that her return would result in the resurfacing of several of the "Lost". These people would apparently resurface after being unable to tolerate Naslima's pathetic attempts at literature.
On the other hand, the residents of Virgin Islands were most welcoming to Naslima. One of the college students from this nation had done a thesis on Naslima and had arrived at the conclusion that she must be a virgin. And since the island gives asylum only to virgins, the officials at Virgin Islands said they would be most honoured to have Naslima with them. Naslima declined the offer saying she was no Virgin Mary.
Meanwhile, Naslima also announced her plans to translate her work into other languages. Primary among those are Yi, Yiddish and the Gibberish languages. She said she would also consider translating her work into Afrikaans and Hungarian.
On being questioned about where she wanted to stay, she replied that she would love to stay in India. However, not many places in India were willing to accept her. Finally, Jhoomri Talayya, a village in rural India welcomed her. The owner of Ramchand Footwear factory at Jhoomri Talayya gave her the job of writing in the accounts book. Whether she writes about the interesting rituals of Muslims or whether she actually concentrates on the accounts of Ramchand Footwear remains to be seen.
Last Monday, Rajasthan House at New Delhi played host to an interesting array of persons from all races, cultures and complexions. On the one hand were men clad in green, performing genuflections at periodic intervals, holding placards reading, "Get lost Naslima". On the other, were men, women and bald-headed babies from all over Planet Earth (except of course the green nations), holding placards that read some weird gibberish. Gibberish it was because these people were predominantly from third world countries and had written the placards in their native tongue. Since languages like Azerbaijani were not popular in India, it was hard to find a translator. Moreover, their shouts and cries of protest were also in those foreign languages and so it was hard to decipher what they were trying so hard to say. However, some ingenuous Indian journalists, with the help of the Universal Sign Language, managed to crack the code. These Third World protestors were shouting, "Come home to us, Naslima".
From Armenia to Zaire and from Burkina Faso to Tajikistan, most countries had their representatives clamouring for Naslima's attention. They all wanted the same thing. They wanted her to take asylum in their nation. However, Naslima wanted to disappear to the Bermuda. But the people of Bermuda were against this as they felt that her return would result in the resurfacing of several of the "Lost". These people would apparently resurface after being unable to tolerate Naslima's pathetic attempts at literature.
On the other hand, the residents of Virgin Islands were most welcoming to Naslima. One of the college students from this nation had done a thesis on Naslima and had arrived at the conclusion that she must be a virgin. And since the island gives asylum only to virgins, the officials at Virgin Islands said they would be most honoured to have Naslima with them. Naslima declined the offer saying she was no Virgin Mary.
Meanwhile, Naslima also announced her plans to translate her work into other languages. Primary among those are Yi, Yiddish and the Gibberish languages. She said she would also consider translating her work into Afrikaans and Hungarian.
On being questioned about where she wanted to stay, she replied that she would love to stay in India. However, not many places in India were willing to accept her. Finally, Jhoomri Talayya, a village in rural India welcomed her. The owner of Ramchand Footwear factory at Jhoomri Talayya gave her the job of writing in the accounts book. Whether she writes about the interesting rituals of Muslims or whether she actually concentrates on the accounts of Ramchand Footwear remains to be seen.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
I'm so happy
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
clap clap
yup...it's cloud no. nine...and heaven no. seven...
you must be wondering why...well, all credit goes to avi. that boy has totally made my day. first in the morning we call him up to get his email id and draft this awfully long mail to him. had fun writing the mail cos it has been long since we have written long emails. and then it was the usual lazy Sunday. went back, had lunch, slept, woke up, skipped 142 times, had a bath, had tiffin and coffee and came to the lab.
and to our immense pleasure, there was a mail in my inbox. a long one too... much merriment ensued. it was a very well written reply to our email.
then, within 26.4 minutes, we received the letter avi had long ago promised to write to us... much more merriment ensued. we were delighted to say the least. we danced in the media lab and skipped and hopped and went telling all or friends about the letter. our cousin called and she was also informed about the letter...plans were cropping up in our head on making a documentary about the letter. such was the excitement in the atmosphere.
anyhow, we finally gathered our senses and sat down to read the letter. awww. it was soooooooooo beautifully written that we made a pact with ourself to cherish it till mortality strikes us. we then decided that we would blog about the whole thing cos we like blogging when we are elated...
so here's to avi and a lot of mails - both electronic and snail....
p.s. some of you not well acquainted with me must be wondering why we are using "we" instead of "I". well, we have finally decided to reveal to the world that there lie within us, 71 personalities...and right now, no.65 is in action...say hi to her...and take care all.be safe and use condoms...belated happy aids day
clap clap
yup...it's cloud no. nine...and heaven no. seven...
you must be wondering why...well, all credit goes to avi. that boy has totally made my day. first in the morning we call him up to get his email id and draft this awfully long mail to him. had fun writing the mail cos it has been long since we have written long emails. and then it was the usual lazy Sunday. went back, had lunch, slept, woke up, skipped 142 times, had a bath, had tiffin and coffee and came to the lab.
and to our immense pleasure, there was a mail in my inbox. a long one too... much merriment ensued. it was a very well written reply to our email.
then, within 26.4 minutes, we received the letter avi had long ago promised to write to us... much more merriment ensued. we were delighted to say the least. we danced in the media lab and skipped and hopped and went telling all or friends about the letter. our cousin called and she was also informed about the letter...plans were cropping up in our head on making a documentary about the letter. such was the excitement in the atmosphere.
anyhow, we finally gathered our senses and sat down to read the letter. awww. it was soooooooooo beautifully written that we made a pact with ourself to cherish it till mortality strikes us. we then decided that we would blog about the whole thing cos we like blogging when we are elated...
so here's to avi and a lot of mails - both electronic and snail....
p.s. some of you not well acquainted with me must be wondering why we are using "we" instead of "I". well, we have finally decided to reveal to the world that there lie within us, 71 personalities...and right now, no.65 is in action...say hi to her...and take care all.be safe and use condoms...belated happy aids day
Friday, November 30, 2007
Yipee!!!
It is with much happiness that i announce the publication of my article in "The New Indian Express". And guess what. It's an article that you all must have read if you check my blog regularly enough. Yes, dear fellows, it's the previous article in the blog - Think Pink. It has come as a light piece in the editorial page. And much happiness ensues...Btw, it was on the November 29th issue. i m sorry but i couldnt find a link to that article..so go dig up your newspaper and read it. or if u r too lazy, then read it on my blog.
Love u all
shilpa
P.S. avi was sweet enough to dig out the article for me...so here goes
Love u all
shilpa
P.S. avi was sweet enough to dig out the article for me...so here goes
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Think Pink
Cricketers worldwide have finally mustered enough courage and come out of the closet. Yes, they have openly declared their allegiance to Pink. And no, we are not talking about the music band that masquerades noise in the name of music but of the colour Pink that is so sacred to the gay community. And no, by gay we do not mean happy. So we have Mike Gatting, former England captain coming out in the open and making statements such as, “We have tried white and orange balls and perhaps pink ones will last longer. This is a very interesting and very wise development and a colour may have been found that is easier on the eye." And while the caption mentioned above is obsessing over the colour of his balls, we have the board coming up with many other suggestions to add some bling and zing to the gentleman’s game.
Taking inspiration from sports like tennis, it has been unanimously decided that even cricketers must strive to practice the principles of indecent exposure. Studies have shown that cricketers have fine legs (pun intended). Some may be short legs (pun intended again), but presented in the right light, they can be quite deadly as well. The board has therefore decided to substitute the boring pants with Pink hot shorts. And in an attempt to create the superman effect, the batsmen will now wear their protective guard over their Pink hot shorts.
Meanwhile, the board has noticed the latest trend among cricketers – that of sporting long, lustrous, wavy tresses. However, this has been found to be distracting to the opposition. Therefore, the board has made it mandatory for all cricketers with long hair to tie up their hair with red ribbons.
It has also been brought to the board’s attention by the cricketers themselves that their complexion is going for a toss. The board has therefore decided to hold all further matches in indoor stadiums. Moreover, after every four overs, there will be a make-up break. The make-up vans will roll onto the fields and the cricketers will be allowed to powder their noses.
Apart from all this, it has also been decided to inculcate the fine art of cheerleading into the sport of cricket. The extras and the substitutes touring along with the teams will be part of the cheer leading squad. Outfits for the same are being designed by the students National Institute of fashion Technology (NIFT), New Delhi.
Meanwhile, followers of the Invisible Pink Unicorn have appreciated the move of the cricket board to bring Pink into cricket and in honour of this move, have adopted cricket as their official sport. Hail the mighty Invisible Pink Unicorn.
Taking inspiration from sports like tennis, it has been unanimously decided that even cricketers must strive to practice the principles of indecent exposure. Studies have shown that cricketers have fine legs (pun intended). Some may be short legs (pun intended again), but presented in the right light, they can be quite deadly as well. The board has therefore decided to substitute the boring pants with Pink hot shorts. And in an attempt to create the superman effect, the batsmen will now wear their protective guard over their Pink hot shorts.
Meanwhile, the board has noticed the latest trend among cricketers – that of sporting long, lustrous, wavy tresses. However, this has been found to be distracting to the opposition. Therefore, the board has made it mandatory for all cricketers with long hair to tie up their hair with red ribbons.
It has also been brought to the board’s attention by the cricketers themselves that their complexion is going for a toss. The board has therefore decided to hold all further matches in indoor stadiums. Moreover, after every four overs, there will be a make-up break. The make-up vans will roll onto the fields and the cricketers will be allowed to powder their noses.
Apart from all this, it has also been decided to inculcate the fine art of cheerleading into the sport of cricket. The extras and the substitutes touring along with the teams will be part of the cheer leading squad. Outfits for the same are being designed by the students National Institute of fashion Technology (NIFT), New Delhi.
Meanwhile, followers of the Invisible Pink Unicorn have appreciated the move of the cricket board to bring Pink into cricket and in honour of this move, have adopted cricket as their official sport. Hail the mighty Invisible Pink Unicorn.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Ghar ek mandir
no, don't get misled by the title, i have not turned into an ekta kapoor fanatic. it's just that diwali is round the corner and the queen of this blog has decided to head home for the festival season. she will be there for four days starting tomorrow. so all ye chennaites, make due note of this in your organisers and kindly visit, after making an appointment that is. and also, please not to forget the gift, the bigger the better. good things sometimes come in large packages as well.
in other news, we have been busy with bringing out our weekly newspaper. please do go check out the soft copy of it on www.thesoftcopy.in
till then
farewell
in other news, we have been busy with bringing out our weekly newspaper. please do go check out the soft copy of it on www.thesoftcopy.in
till then
farewell
Make way for the new gas
In a startling twist to the Indo-US nuclear deal, cabinet minister Laloo Prasad Yadav provided a solution to the current imbroglio. He proposed an idea that no true Indian would refuse. Gobar gas. Laloo Prasad Yadav has made a generous offer and agreed to donate the dung of his 5-lakh buffaloes for the manufacture of the said gas. Top energy experts have studied this plan and decided that it is foolproof. Not only does it produce more energy than would be produced by the nuclear deal, it also provides direct employment to 5 lakh families of Bihar and indirect employment to many others.
Rabri Devi, Mr. Yadav’s wife, has drafted the plan. Her children Jalebi, Rosgulla, Gulabjamun, Kajubarfi and Besan laddoo have agreed to volunteer in the execution of the plan. While Jalebi is in charge of making a huge stable in the outskirts of Patna to accommodate the buffaloes, Rosgulla will be taking care of their grazing schedule. Gulabjamun, Kajubarfi and Besan laddoo are in charge of maintaining the stable and ensuring proper hygiene. Mr. Yadav, meanwhile has graciously agreed to take care of the fodder scam.
In addition to the gobar gas idea, Ms. Mayawati has propounded a new idea. She says that there is a lot of energy that can be drawn from human flatulence. In a meeting of the Fart association of India, Ms. Mayawati addressed the issue and said that there is great potential for energy production from human farts. Animal farts too can be used. However, a separate plant will have to be set up for that.
This plan too has been studied by the energy commission and is said to be feasible. It has been proposed that fart collection machines will be set up at all street corners. All the public has to do is go to the machine, place their posterior in the place meant for it and produce as explosive farts as possible. Ms. Mayawati has personally assured to contribute 12 farts a day. She says that all her party officials will be doing the same. The fart machines connected to the main plant. A tube will connect the machine to the plant and the gas will pass through these tubes.
Studies are being made to extract energy from burps and hiccups as well. At the rate it is progressing, India might soon be claim itself to be a self-reliant energy-producing nation. Considering that it has a population of over one billion, very soon, we might be able to export energy drawn from flatulence as well. So lets begin this noble venture with a prayer to the Gods of fart. Until then, have fun and keep farting.
Rabri Devi, Mr. Yadav’s wife, has drafted the plan. Her children Jalebi, Rosgulla, Gulabjamun, Kajubarfi and Besan laddoo have agreed to volunteer in the execution of the plan. While Jalebi is in charge of making a huge stable in the outskirts of Patna to accommodate the buffaloes, Rosgulla will be taking care of their grazing schedule. Gulabjamun, Kajubarfi and Besan laddoo are in charge of maintaining the stable and ensuring proper hygiene. Mr. Yadav, meanwhile has graciously agreed to take care of the fodder scam.
In addition to the gobar gas idea, Ms. Mayawati has propounded a new idea. She says that there is a lot of energy that can be drawn from human flatulence. In a meeting of the Fart association of India, Ms. Mayawati addressed the issue and said that there is great potential for energy production from human farts. Animal farts too can be used. However, a separate plant will have to be set up for that.
This plan too has been studied by the energy commission and is said to be feasible. It has been proposed that fart collection machines will be set up at all street corners. All the public has to do is go to the machine, place their posterior in the place meant for it and produce as explosive farts as possible. Ms. Mayawati has personally assured to contribute 12 farts a day. She says that all her party officials will be doing the same. The fart machines connected to the main plant. A tube will connect the machine to the plant and the gas will pass through these tubes.
Studies are being made to extract energy from burps and hiccups as well. At the rate it is progressing, India might soon be claim itself to be a self-reliant energy-producing nation. Considering that it has a population of over one billion, very soon, we might be able to export energy drawn from flatulence as well. So lets begin this noble venture with a prayer to the Gods of fart. Until then, have fun and keep farting.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Can't think of a title
I must admit it has been a long vacation. Thing is, it's pretty cold out here in Bangalore, so i went into hibernation. And no, the Sun is not out already. It's just that i got bored of the hole in the ground behind the hostel that has served as my home for the past three months. One, the hole was mighty claustrophobic. Two, a family of rats moved in next door and kept offering me Cheddar cheese everyday. Now, i couldn't say no to it as it would sound rude and consequently i have been afflicted by cheesoexcessia (Cheese overdose). Hence my decision to return to human civilization.
On my return, i found out that my blog has actually been missed. OMG!!! Deluge of tears of joy..Muchos thanks to avi, abbulgadu and itika for asking me to revive my blog. Don't worry, CPR has been administered to thee blog and revival is in progress. Attempts will be made to keep it active on a thrice-a-week basis.
Returning to life in the claustrophobic hole, i must say that life without human contact has been wonderful. With only big black ants, millipedes and centipedes to keep me company, i have had much time to think. I shall dispense the wisdom i have gained in the coming posts, so do visit regularly.
Meanwhile, hostelites have updated me with the latest happenings in the hostel. I must admit that i made nocturnal visits top the hostel to satiate my appetite for palak paneer. Anyhow, rumour has it that people are "DOING IT" in the terrace. Now don't ask me what IT is. If you are a well-educated being who has paid attention in your biology classes, you would know.
Halloween party was held. The dress code was black. Most painted their faces to resemble devils, though i would say it was a collosal waste of make-up for they look like that even otherwise.
In other news, it has been learnt that people at home are also missing me. So a visit is due this diwali. Any chennaites reading this blog, please to note that i am arriving on the 7th night by Shatabdi. Anyone who comes to the station to receive me with a garland of skulls will be duly honoured by having an entire post dedicated to them on this blog. So please to go ahead with killing 17 politicians whose heads will adorn the garland.
The clock strikes nine and it is time for your favourite blogger to depart. She would like to inform you all that she will not keep her earlier promises of blogging unless she sees prompt comments by her respected readers. so make haste.
On my return, i found out that my blog has actually been missed. OMG!!! Deluge of tears of joy..Muchos thanks to avi, abbulgadu and itika for asking me to revive my blog. Don't worry, CPR has been administered to thee blog and revival is in progress. Attempts will be made to keep it active on a thrice-a-week basis.
Returning to life in the claustrophobic hole, i must say that life without human contact has been wonderful. With only big black ants, millipedes and centipedes to keep me company, i have had much time to think. I shall dispense the wisdom i have gained in the coming posts, so do visit regularly.
Meanwhile, hostelites have updated me with the latest happenings in the hostel. I must admit that i made nocturnal visits top the hostel to satiate my appetite for palak paneer. Anyhow, rumour has it that people are "DOING IT" in the terrace. Now don't ask me what IT is. If you are a well-educated being who has paid attention in your biology classes, you would know.
Halloween party was held. The dress code was black. Most painted their faces to resemble devils, though i would say it was a collosal waste of make-up for they look like that even otherwise.
In other news, it has been learnt that people at home are also missing me. So a visit is due this diwali. Any chennaites reading this blog, please to note that i am arriving on the 7th night by Shatabdi. Anyone who comes to the station to receive me with a garland of skulls will be duly honoured by having an entire post dedicated to them on this blog. So please to go ahead with killing 17 politicians whose heads will adorn the garland.
The clock strikes nine and it is time for your favourite blogger to depart. She would like to inform you all that she will not keep her earlier promises of blogging unless she sees prompt comments by her respected readers. so make haste.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Smile! You're on Candid Camera
Imagine this. It’s a lazy Sunday morning. You are sitting in front of your LG Flatron with a hot, steaming cup of coffee in your hand. The images on the television are grainy. You can just about make out that it is a five-star hotel of sorts. You wonder why it looks vaguely familiar. But your mind is too groggy to recognize it. The camera zooms into a well-manicured hand. The nails are painted with what appears to be your favourite shade of Elle 18 nail paint – turquoise blue. The hand is twitching.
Next scene. You see a face – not the whole of it but just the lower half. The hand reaches up and the turquoise blue painted fingernail discreetly enters the right nostril. It searches for the elusive treasure of gold hidden near the olfactory gland. Bingo! The hand has struck a gold mine. Just as discreetly as before, the gold is extracted and safely deposited on the underside of the dining table.
Next scene. The guests at the table have finally devoured their meals. It’s time to shake hands and bid sweet adieu. The camera traces the handshakes of the well-manicured hand. Finally, the camera pans out and the face comes into focus. At this very moment, you suffer your first ever cardiac arrest. The face staring at you is the very same face that you so lovingly admire every morning in your bathroom mirror. You are the gold-digger.
You get a flash back of the days when you sorely hoped for your fifteen minutes of fame. Little did you imagine it would turn out to be fifteen minutes of shame.
Welcome to EN TV – We provide you Entertaining News. Every news bulletin is in fact a compilation of riveting candid camera sequences. It could be your neigbour today, and you could be the star tomorrow.
Last evening, were you the one offering your homage to Mother Nature (read peeing into the lake)? Ahem, it must have been too dark for you to notice the camera hidden in the bushes. But worry not for tomorrow, the whole nation will gleefully witness the momentous occasion.
Did I hear you murmur about invasion of privacy? Didn’t you know that privacy is now a redundant term? Today, everyone is a public figure and your singing in the precincts of your bathroom could make for breaking news. So what if you happen to be more nasal than Himesh Reshamiyya.
So all ye propounders of privacy protection, brace yourselves. For you are now entering an era where the coriander stuck between your teeth is the headlines for the day.
Next scene. You see a face – not the whole of it but just the lower half. The hand reaches up and the turquoise blue painted fingernail discreetly enters the right nostril. It searches for the elusive treasure of gold hidden near the olfactory gland. Bingo! The hand has struck a gold mine. Just as discreetly as before, the gold is extracted and safely deposited on the underside of the dining table.
Next scene. The guests at the table have finally devoured their meals. It’s time to shake hands and bid sweet adieu. The camera traces the handshakes of the well-manicured hand. Finally, the camera pans out and the face comes into focus. At this very moment, you suffer your first ever cardiac arrest. The face staring at you is the very same face that you so lovingly admire every morning in your bathroom mirror. You are the gold-digger.
You get a flash back of the days when you sorely hoped for your fifteen minutes of fame. Little did you imagine it would turn out to be fifteen minutes of shame.
Welcome to EN TV – We provide you Entertaining News. Every news bulletin is in fact a compilation of riveting candid camera sequences. It could be your neigbour today, and you could be the star tomorrow.
Last evening, were you the one offering your homage to Mother Nature (read peeing into the lake)? Ahem, it must have been too dark for you to notice the camera hidden in the bushes. But worry not for tomorrow, the whole nation will gleefully witness the momentous occasion.
Did I hear you murmur about invasion of privacy? Didn’t you know that privacy is now a redundant term? Today, everyone is a public figure and your singing in the precincts of your bathroom could make for breaking news. So what if you happen to be more nasal than Himesh Reshamiyya.
So all ye propounders of privacy protection, brace yourselves. For you are now entering an era where the coriander stuck between your teeth is the headlines for the day.
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