CRAP ALERT

So I was watching Gemini Music along with the boys today as the Set Top Box (that weird contraption that is a must in Chennai if you want access to cable TV) was malfunctioning. Now why Gemini Music ask you... Nostalgia, say I. Yup, I do sorely miss Hyderabad. Anyhow, I digress. Ahem! Where was I??? Yes, Gemini music. So, there was this show in which callers call in and request the song while senders send in SMS’s which are proudly displayed on the screen throughout the whole duration of the show. Yeah, yeah, I know that you all have seen such shows but there might be a few of you out there for whom such hilarious channels stand banned by principle of avoiding all things nonsensical. So yeah, this post is for you all. At least now you’ll know how much in life you are missing if u don’t tune into channels like Gemini music, Sun music, Maa TV and the likes.

Anyway, we were watching some of the hilarious songs (Pavan Kalyan [Mega star Chiranjeevi’s brother for the uninitiated] wearing two pants and 2 shirts…a few buttons provocatively left open ….running around the trees with Meera Jasmine) when all of a sudden we spot the SMS’s appearing on the screen. Hilarious would be an understatement. I proudly present to you some of the gems highlighted in Bold. And yeah, all this is verbatim. None of them are figments of my imagination. I swear on The Almighty FSM. The comments in the brackets however are all courtesy yours truly. Pardon me if they make you cringe. They were meant to.


• I 143 U Ra (Hmmm… Robert Langdon please help me….what’s 143 code for now????)

• I love my wife Priyanka (Milky). Why you not love me? Why you cheet me? (No, Cheet was not a typo on my part. As I said, all this is what came on the idiot box)

• M: Ragul I love you (now that’s what SRK would be called if his movies were dubbed in Tamil. Oh Ragul!!!!)
• We love Ambika (Ah….the sharing kind I see.. nice nice)

• Venke: Hai Hasham. Call me back. Venke. (Now is it just me or do both venke and hasham sound like boy names??)

• Ravi (co): I L U Shanti (Even corporates into this rigmarole??)

• Swathi: I love Swathi (Now you know what the heights of ego-mania is )

• Cobra: I miss you. I love you Sony (o0o0o0o….. I didn’t know venomous snakes fell in love with television channels)

• Samba: Hi Kallu, have a nice day. (I am waiting now for Jai and Veeru to show up.. Sigh!!!)

• Nani: I love you so much Prasu 143 (143) (143) please call me (hey, I tried that number like 143 times but no grandma picks it up)

• Satish: Hai ra Keeru. Many happy returns of the day to my bangaru (that rhymes!!!)

• Bacchi: Hai Archana. Please call me 107 (I tried that number also. But was connected to the municipal sewerage and drain management board..pbbbt…)

• Hasini Parvatipuram: Hai Srimatigaru. I got reservations. I am starting on Friday Bangalore. Venkat (Hi Venkat. I hope Srimatigaru comes in a local tonga to come pick you up from the station. You didn’t mention the train timings though)

• Priyanka: I love you Mala (Hmm….Lesbian love looms large)

• Sneha: I luv my parents (You go girl, you would have made Karan Johar proud)


P.S. Bhai decides to have some fun and sends in an SMS which goes something like “Shanky: Sanka Nakadu”. (Sanka Nakadu = Lick your armpit). :D