Sunday, December 30, 2007

Remember


to take your handkerchief/box of tissues along with you when you go to watch Taare Zameen Par. and don't by any chance miss the movie. beautiful is an understatement for it...

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Platinum is it???

yup, i think it is platinum...if you are wondering why i am going on and on about the most precious metal, it is not because i want you tp propose to me with a diamond studded platinum ring.. it is because this blog can finally boast of 75 posts...so three cheers..or rather, 75 cheers...

am in the indian epress office right now..got 2 more hours to go before i can catch the bus back home...dreary concept that, having to trudge through the bylanes of chennai...for 10 days in a row. par kya kare. life's like that only..

by chance yday when i was browsing through the indian express, i notice my name again on the editorial page. yup, 3rd article. one that i had sent a long while ago and had almost forgotten about. please to pat me on the back next time you see me for all that i have achieved in a span of two months.

woops...the boss beckons and i must rush
adieu all

Thursday, December 13, 2007

There she goes

hey all...this is another article of mine that got published in the Indian express...


Last Monday, Rajasthan House at New Delhi played host to an interesting array of persons from all races, cultures and complexions. On the one hand were men clad in green, performing genuflections at periodic intervals, holding placards reading, "Get lost Naslima". On the other, were men, women and bald-headed babies from all over Planet Earth (except of course the green nations), holding placards that read some weird gibberish. Gibberish it was because these people were predominantly from third world countries and had written the placards in their native tongue. Since languages like Azerbaijani were not popular in India, it was hard to find a translator. Moreover, their shouts and cries of protest were also in those foreign languages and so it was hard to decipher what they were trying so hard to say. However, some ingenuous Indian journalists, with the help of the Universal Sign Language, managed to crack the code. These Third World protestors were shouting, "Come home to us, Naslima".

From Armenia to Zaire and from Burkina Faso to Tajikistan, most countries had their representatives clamouring for Naslima's attention. They all wanted the same thing. They wanted her to take asylum in their nation. However, Naslima wanted to disappear to the Bermuda. But the people of Bermuda were against this as they felt that her return would result in the resurfacing of several of the "Lost". These people would apparently resurface after being unable to tolerate Naslima's pathetic attempts at literature.

On the other hand, the residents of Virgin Islands were most welcoming to Naslima. One of the college students from this nation had done a thesis on Naslima and had arrived at the conclusion that she must be a virgin. And since the island gives asylum only to virgins, the officials at Virgin Islands said they would be most honoured to have Naslima with them. Naslima declined the offer saying she was no Virgin Mary.

Meanwhile, Naslima also announced her plans to translate her work into other languages. Primary among those are Yi, Yiddish and the Gibberish languages. She said she would also consider translating her work into Afrikaans and Hungarian.

On being questioned about where she wanted to stay, she replied that she would love to stay in India. However, not many places in India were willing to accept her. Finally, Jhoomri Talayya, a village in rural India welcomed her. The owner of Ramchand Footwear factory at Jhoomri Talayya gave her the job of writing in the accounts book. Whether she writes about the interesting rituals of Muslims or whether she actually concentrates on the accounts of Ramchand Footwear remains to be seen.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

I'm so happy

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
clap clap

yup...it's cloud no. nine...and heaven no. seven...
you must be wondering why...well, all credit goes to avi. that boy has totally made my day. first in the morning we call him up to get his email id and draft this awfully long mail to him. had fun writing the mail cos it has been long since we have written long emails. and then it was the usual lazy Sunday. went back, had lunch, slept, woke up, skipped 142 times, had a bath, had tiffin and coffee and came to the lab.
and to our immense pleasure, there was a mail in my inbox. a long one too... much merriment ensued. it was a very well written reply to our email.
then, within 26.4 minutes, we received the letter avi had long ago promised to write to us... much more merriment ensued. we were delighted to say the least. we danced in the media lab and skipped and hopped and went telling all or friends about the letter. our cousin called and she was also informed about the letter...plans were cropping up in our head on making a documentary about the letter. such was the excitement in the atmosphere.
anyhow, we finally gathered our senses and sat down to read the letter. awww. it was soooooooooo beautifully written that we made a pact with ourself to cherish it till mortality strikes us. we then decided that we would blog about the whole thing cos we like blogging when we are elated...
so here's to avi and a lot of mails - both electronic and snail....

p.s. some of you not well acquainted with me must be wondering why we are using "we" instead of "I". well, we have finally decided to reveal to the world that there lie within us, 71 personalities...and right now, no.65 is in action...say hi to her...and take care all.be safe and use condoms...belated happy aids day

Friday, November 30, 2007

Yipee!!!

It is with much happiness that i announce the publication of my article in "The New Indian Express". And guess what. It's an article that you all must have read if you check my blog regularly enough. Yes, dear fellows, it's the previous article in the blog - Think Pink. It has come as a light piece in the editorial page. And much happiness ensues...Btw, it was on the November 29th issue. i m sorry but i couldnt find a link to that article..so go dig up your newspaper and read it. or if u r too lazy, then read it on my blog.

Love u all
shilpa

P.S. avi was sweet enough to dig out the article for me...so here goes

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Think Pink

Cricketers worldwide have finally mustered enough courage and come out of the closet. Yes, they have openly declared their allegiance to Pink. And no, we are not talking about the music band that masquerades noise in the name of music but of the colour Pink that is so sacred to the gay community. And no, by gay we do not mean happy. So we have Mike Gatting, former England captain coming out in the open and making statements such as, “We have tried white and orange balls and perhaps pink ones will last longer. This is a very interesting and very wise development and a colour may have been found that is easier on the eye." And while the caption mentioned above is obsessing over the colour of his balls, we have the board coming up with many other suggestions to add some bling and zing to the gentleman’s game.

Taking inspiration from sports like tennis, it has been unanimously decided that even cricketers must strive to practice the principles of indecent exposure. Studies have shown that cricketers have fine legs (pun intended). Some may be short legs (pun intended again), but presented in the right light, they can be quite deadly as well. The board has therefore decided to substitute the boring pants with Pink hot shorts. And in an attempt to create the superman effect, the batsmen will now wear their protective guard over their Pink hot shorts.

Meanwhile, the board has noticed the latest trend among cricketers – that of sporting long, lustrous, wavy tresses. However, this has been found to be distracting to the opposition. Therefore, the board has made it mandatory for all cricketers with long hair to tie up their hair with red ribbons.

It has also been brought to the board’s attention by the cricketers themselves that their complexion is going for a toss. The board has therefore decided to hold all further matches in indoor stadiums. Moreover, after every four overs, there will be a make-up break. The make-up vans will roll onto the fields and the cricketers will be allowed to powder their noses.

Apart from all this, it has also been decided to inculcate the fine art of cheerleading into the sport of cricket. The extras and the substitutes touring along with the teams will be part of the cheer leading squad. Outfits for the same are being designed by the students National Institute of fashion Technology (NIFT), New Delhi.

Meanwhile, followers of the Invisible Pink Unicorn have appreciated the move of the cricket board to bring Pink into cricket and in honour of this move, have adopted cricket as their official sport. Hail the mighty Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Ghar ek mandir

no, don't get misled by the title, i have not turned into an ekta kapoor fanatic. it's just that diwali is round the corner and the queen of this blog has decided to head home for the festival season. she will be there for four days starting tomorrow. so all ye chennaites, make due note of this in your organisers and kindly visit, after making an appointment that is. and also, please not to forget the gift, the bigger the better. good things sometimes come in large packages as well.

in other news, we have been busy with bringing out our weekly newspaper. please do go check out the soft copy of it on www.thesoftcopy.in

till then
farewell

Make way for the new gas

In a startling twist to the Indo-US nuclear deal, cabinet minister Laloo Prasad Yadav provided a solution to the current imbroglio. He proposed an idea that no true Indian would refuse. Gobar gas. Laloo Prasad Yadav has made a generous offer and agreed to donate the dung of his 5-lakh buffaloes for the manufacture of the said gas. Top energy experts have studied this plan and decided that it is foolproof. Not only does it produce more energy than would be produced by the nuclear deal, it also provides direct employment to 5 lakh families of Bihar and indirect employment to many others.

Rabri Devi, Mr. Yadav’s wife, has drafted the plan. Her children Jalebi, Rosgulla, Gulabjamun, Kajubarfi and Besan laddoo have agreed to volunteer in the execution of the plan. While Jalebi is in charge of making a huge stable in the outskirts of Patna to accommodate the buffaloes, Rosgulla will be taking care of their grazing schedule. Gulabjamun, Kajubarfi and Besan laddoo are in charge of maintaining the stable and ensuring proper hygiene. Mr. Yadav, meanwhile has graciously agreed to take care of the fodder scam.

In addition to the gobar gas idea, Ms. Mayawati has propounded a new idea. She says that there is a lot of energy that can be drawn from human flatulence. In a meeting of the Fart association of India, Ms. Mayawati addressed the issue and said that there is great potential for energy production from human farts. Animal farts too can be used. However, a separate plant will have to be set up for that.

This plan too has been studied by the energy commission and is said to be feasible. It has been proposed that fart collection machines will be set up at all street corners. All the public has to do is go to the machine, place their posterior in the place meant for it and produce as explosive farts as possible. Ms. Mayawati has personally assured to contribute 12 farts a day. She says that all her party officials will be doing the same. The fart machines connected to the main plant. A tube will connect the machine to the plant and the gas will pass through these tubes.

Studies are being made to extract energy from burps and hiccups as well. At the rate it is progressing, India might soon be claim itself to be a self-reliant energy-producing nation. Considering that it has a population of over one billion, very soon, we might be able to export energy drawn from flatulence as well. So lets begin this noble venture with a prayer to the Gods of fart. Until then, have fun and keep farting.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Can't think of a title

I must admit it has been a long vacation. Thing is, it's pretty cold out here in Bangalore, so i went into hibernation. And no, the Sun is not out already. It's just that i got bored of the hole in the ground behind the hostel that has served as my home for the past three months. One, the hole was mighty claustrophobic. Two, a family of rats moved in next door and kept offering me Cheddar cheese everyday. Now, i couldn't say no to it as it would sound rude and consequently i have been afflicted by cheesoexcessia (Cheese overdose). Hence my decision to return to human civilization.

On my return, i found out that my blog has actually been missed. OMG!!! Deluge of tears of joy..Muchos thanks to avi, abbulgadu and itika for asking me to revive my blog. Don't worry, CPR has been administered to thee blog and revival is in progress. Attempts will be made to keep it active on a thrice-a-week basis.

Returning to life in the claustrophobic hole, i must say that life without human contact has been wonderful. With only big black ants, millipedes and centipedes to keep me company, i have had much time to think. I shall dispense the wisdom i have gained in the coming posts, so do visit regularly.

Meanwhile, hostelites have updated me with the latest happenings in the hostel. I must admit that i made nocturnal visits top the hostel to satiate my appetite for palak paneer. Anyhow, rumour has it that people are "DOING IT" in the terrace. Now don't ask me what IT is. If you are a well-educated being who has paid attention in your biology classes, you would know.

Halloween party was held. The dress code was black. Most painted their faces to resemble devils, though i would say it was a collosal waste of make-up for they look like that even otherwise.

In other news, it has been learnt that people at home are also missing me. So a visit is due this diwali. Any chennaites reading this blog, please to note that i am arriving on the 7th night by Shatabdi. Anyone who comes to the station to receive me with a garland of skulls will be duly honoured by having an entire post dedicated to them on this blog. So please to go ahead with killing 17 politicians whose heads will adorn the garland.

The clock strikes nine and it is time for your favourite blogger to depart. She would like to inform you all that she will not keep her earlier promises of blogging unless she sees prompt comments by her respected readers. so make haste.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Smile! You're on Candid Camera

Imagine this. It’s a lazy Sunday morning. You are sitting in front of your LG Flatron with a hot, steaming cup of coffee in your hand. The images on the television are grainy. You can just about make out that it is a five-star hotel of sorts. You wonder why it looks vaguely familiar. But your mind is too groggy to recognize it. The camera zooms into a well-manicured hand. The nails are painted with what appears to be your favourite shade of Elle 18 nail paint – turquoise blue. The hand is twitching.

Next scene. You see a face – not the whole of it but just the lower half. The hand reaches up and the turquoise blue painted fingernail discreetly enters the right nostril. It searches for the elusive treasure of gold hidden near the olfactory gland. Bingo! The hand has struck a gold mine. Just as discreetly as before, the gold is extracted and safely deposited on the underside of the dining table.

Next scene. The guests at the table have finally devoured their meals. It’s time to shake hands and bid sweet adieu. The camera traces the handshakes of the well-manicured hand. Finally, the camera pans out and the face comes into focus. At this very moment, you suffer your first ever cardiac arrest. The face staring at you is the very same face that you so lovingly admire every morning in your bathroom mirror. You are the gold-digger.

You get a flash back of the days when you sorely hoped for your fifteen minutes of fame. Little did you imagine it would turn out to be fifteen minutes of shame.

Welcome to EN TV – We provide you Entertaining News. Every news bulletin is in fact a compilation of riveting candid camera sequences. It could be your neigbour today, and you could be the star tomorrow.

Last evening, were you the one offering your homage to Mother Nature (read peeing into the lake)? Ahem, it must have been too dark for you to notice the camera hidden in the bushes. But worry not for tomorrow, the whole nation will gleefully witness the momentous occasion.

Did I hear you murmur about invasion of privacy? Didn’t you know that privacy is now a redundant term? Today, everyone is a public figure and your singing in the precincts of your bathroom could make for breaking news. So what if you happen to be more nasal than Himesh Reshamiyya.

So all ye propounders of privacy protection, brace yourselves. For you are now entering an era where the coriander stuck between your teeth is the headlines for the day.

Monday, August 27, 2007

of undies and faggots

Dear Guys
Some of you are not used to wash even your under garments but here the washing people are women they feel awkward to touch all these things. And you are placing them in the tray where the others keep their cloth which makes everybody to feel uneasy in the boys hostel. Please be aware of this issue even it has come in the complaint file which makes ashamed of ourselves before the gays.


Regards
Noel


the above is a mail that was sent by our warden to all the boys. heh...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

i live in kumbalgudu.
and i am loving it.

Amusing classmates, remarkable faculty, inspiring associate dean, beautiful campus, noteworthy guest lecturers, breathtaking view, interesting assignments, watching movies as part of the curriculum, daily news quiz, Table tennis, flexible in-times at the hostel, scrumptious hostel food (sometimes oxymorons do exist) – that, ladies and gentlemen, is IIJNM for me. And I thought Utopia was fictional!!

so yeah...as i said, i have amusing classmates who ask amusing questions in class.
like for example we had a class on international news today and this kid asks

sir, why is england part of europe when it is so far away from the rest of europe?


and then there was this other kid who asks

if i have taken international reporting as my elective, do i have to go abroad for my internship??


hmhm...all i can say is "NO Comments!"

Thursday, August 16, 2007

nebulous universe

Chaos, love can only be created out of chaos. No love can be created out of order. This is the story about the intricate play of chaos. The mysterious ways of the universe can only be sensed by the insane. So, to follow this story you have to use the insanity that lies in you.
There is a difference between passion and illusion of passion. Both to the beholder feels the same. But passion can be realized by the insane while the later can be realized only by the sane. Every love story is a clichĂ©. Every hate story is unique in its own way. But this story begins with a ultra cosmic word called “blog’.
FATE
I was baffled to know the truth about this mantra. I promised myself that I would try it myself. I never had any idea of what the universe had planned for a fool like me.
The journey begins when the atoms are at their lethargic best. I was passing my time by looking out into pod of boiling water. There was a man outside my door shouting an invitation to all the magicians for a local competition. I always liked to make other wizards look foolish. This was just another opportunity to show off how could I ever let it go. Now , when I think of it wish I had the power of clairvoyance.
At the competition I dazzled everyone by my MAYA. I created worlds and creatures that ever unseen by the human eye. Everyone wanted to be my friend, to know what was the secret behind my ‘magic’. Among my admirers, there was a person by the name of PROTO ( the catalyst).
Proto had no skill for magic. The only skill he possessed was making friends. Life is weird and my friend proto was weirder.
I wanted to show of all the crapy illusions on my blog.
One day ,out of nowhere I asked out of nowhere I asked proto “ hey do know anything about blog”
Proto looked at me incredulously. I knew at that moment what kind of a moron he really was. But then again the universe assigned him the role of a catalyst.
“ I know a friend who blogs”. ( first move of fate)
(( slowly, the darkness grows upon me. There is no escape. As far I can I see there is nothing but infinite darkness. There is unnamed feeling within me, which cannot be described. As if everything I ever wanted I lost in an abyss.
Slowly I start falling deeper and deeper. The pain is beyond endure. nothing can save me because I am fated to be doomed.
Day and night I feel the despair. My heart is broken by reality beyond repair. How can god be so cruel to me. Only my end will set me free. But then again you came along and made me think everything I thought about life was all wrong.)) AK

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Phew!!!

Someone actually landed on my blog after googling for "Nadal kept scratching his ass".

Friday, July 13, 2007

Why oh why

This woman has loads of guts... and they are saying she is mentally unstable...sheesh..sometimes indians disgust me. the vhp apparently wants to arrest her on grounds of public display of vulgarity. this extreme double sidedness is extremely irksome. so a man walks semi nude on the streets and people don't even raise an eyebrow, but a woman..oh my god!!! how can she...does she have no shame...no morals???

what i say is arrest salman khan first. and then talk..

a few random thoughts now

i wonder why they make such a huge fuss over nudity...and sex...is there anything wrong with either of them???

why are artists being arrested for painting gods in the nude when they do appear in the nude in all our temple sculptures. whatever happened to freedom of expression. why arrest them when there are so many other worse off criminals waiting to be punished

why is nobody commenting on my blogs???

movie reccomendation : goodfellas....its a martin scorcese movie..so i guess thats enough said

queries now...will be going to blore in a few days...so all u hostelites out there who visit my blog...any thing that i MUST take that i might have missed out on???

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Hurray

So we landed a jobe with Chennaionline.
and now we are being paid to write..our dream is slowly coming true. the pay isn't much but the satisfaction is ample.

we got free passes to a play called "seeds and flowers" and we had to review it. we got to see k.balachander and several other tv artistes who were very nice to us. so here os the review
read and comment pliss.

Monday, July 09, 2007

My brother Shanky

It’s been quite a long long while that I have been thinking of blogging about my brother – truly one of the most colourful characters in my life. It was just the fact that it would turn out to be a really long post that kept me from the task. But now that I have finally managed to vanquish the demon called indolence, I shall proceed to give a semi- biography of my bhai.

Viswanath aka shankar aka shanky aka skunker aka bum aka boy aka idiot aka monkey aka……the list is quite exhaustive. On his special request, we shall stick to shanky. So shanky is a funny boy. He sings while he is shitting. And that too original compositions. Well, not exactly original. He is kinda like the Anu Mallik of the family. All his numbers are heavily inspired from other songs..and most often Bhajans.

Then, he shakes his ass to the tunes of cap-man,. Yup aap ka suroor. And he does the nasal twang really well too. He gets emotionally upset if sachin doesn’t perform well or federer loses to nadal. He loves to irritate me.

And most importantly, he is the most narcissistic person in my life. Thinks he is the John Abraham of the south. Or the george Clooney. Wait, he doesn’t know who Clooney is. So Johnny boy it is. Or naa…lets make it SRK. A die hard SRK fan he be. He has arguments with another of his friends over who is better, Hrithik or Shahrukh. He even composed an anti Hrithik song which goes something like

Hrithik roshan
Chaddi mein poshan
Mooh mein motion
Ya di da…..


And ya, lets get back to his obsession with looks. You would think I would spend more time infront of the mirror than he would. But naa. You are wrong. He spends 19 hours and 34 minutes a day in front of the mirror. He spends like Rs.967 a week on hair gels and other embellishments. He pierces his ear and tries out my ear rings. He applies Fair and Handsome. I swear he does. And worst of all, he has no girlfriend. And not a single crush till now.. sometimes it makes me wonder.

And he is bloody talented as well. He writes real good poetry as well. Here is a sample

Nature is fun
Provided there are no guns
It’s full of greenery
And it’s a wonderful scenery

When the sun rises in the day
Every man is GAY
Yada yada…….


Heh…yeah…I didn’t make up that poem. He actually wrote it.
And then what else do I say about this shanky. He obsesses with CS(counterstrike).
Here is a conversation I had with him:

Me: Oi. Don’t do C.A. if you are not interested
Him: then what should I do?
Me: do something you are passionate about
Him: I am only passionate about CS
Me: ok. Get into game designing then
Him: what does that involve?
Me: you have to design games like CS
Him: na.. I don’t want to design. I just want to play. Give me money for playing and I’ll be really happy.


Go figure!!!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

My daddy strongest



Appa is the best...There is soo much to write about him but words seem inadequate. so i shall suffice with "i love you appa"..

p.s. for all those who don't already know, today is father's day

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Enough of words..


Was walking in gopalapuram when i suddenly saw the above...hmhmhm thought i...do they stitch salwar kurtas for houses...then read the fine print on the left..now i am enlightened.



had gone to subway with N. and we saw this incredibly funny uniform.. pink!!!! yeah!!and for guys!!!heh




train journeys sure are interesting. especially when you have a sadhuji sitting in the same cooupe as you. why does this pic remind me of swades.. and why isn't ashutosh gowarikar making any more movies???

Friday, June 15, 2007

Tribute to a dog lover

So one of my uncle's asked me and athimber to help him out with a write up.. a note of appreciation to his dog-lover dost. me and athimber wrote two seperate pieces. and here's the result. btw, i wrote the essay keeping my athimber himself in mind cos he has an adorable doggie called chapro..black labrador.extremely fat. extremely lazy.

anyhow, here is the mail. verbatim:

Here are the two entries. one is informal(shilpa’s) while the other is more formal(mine) in it’s approach. Like a good boss, I am sure you will discard both take the essence and send your note.

FORMAL:

Loyalty runs deep in this relationship between the master and the pet. This is a relationship of unconditional love. This is a relationship in which neither of them expect anything in return. This relationship always stands the test of time and indeed reinforces in adversities. True are the bonds that only grow in strength with the passage of time. This is a relationship which is envious in the eyes of fellow human beings who sometimes wish if they could be the pet themselves. In this materialistic world, this is the strongest relationship with zero investment except your true love. Well sir, this is how I view a pet master relationship. If at all you need to modify, I am sure it will be in the upward side. None of these words can be deleted but only replaced. I met you only a month ago and I must say that I am truly impressed by your commitment and relationship with your pets. I hope our relationship will find a pedestal if not on equal terms but atleast just below what is being enjoyed by your doggy love. I am sure our bond of friendship will be true to those words expressed above.


INFORMAL:

Labrador pup: Rs. 5,000
Pedigree dog feed: Rs. 300
Imported leash: Rs.990
The happiness in my tummy when I watch you playing with your dogs: Priceless

The best things in life do come for free, though I do value my MasterCard. And one of the things that never cease to amaze me is how much you can love an animal. I am no animal-hater myself, but I find it difficult to fathom a situation where an animal might mean as much to me as it does to you. And I immensely admire you for that. There have been times I have wanted to meet you just to watch you play with your dogs, cuddle them, fondle them, fight with them, scratch their bellies, talk to them, sing to them – just be with them. The joy on the faces of these dogs is enough to keep me going for a long long while. It’s chiefly due to you that I have a renewed sense of respect for dogs. i get great pleasure out of watching their antics at work and I thank you for this escape from my mundane life. Finally, I would like to tell you that the one thing that always fills me with an inner sense of peace is when I see you on an armchair, reading a book, surrounded on all four sides by tommy, honey, ceaser and whisky.

(athimber, if u happen to use any of my lines, I am hoping for a puppy in return. Maybe not now, but definitely when I start living on my own. – shilpa.)




p.s. thats the pic of athimber and doggie chapro

lucky number 55

we just noticed that we have passed our golden jubilee...but we dont like gold much..we like oxidised gold better. and so we celebrate our 55th post as our oxidised gold jubilee. readers are requested to send oxidised gold to:
p.o.box 49753702630254955205629,
heaven's kitchen.

and ya...we wouldn't mind the stuff sheetal mallar wears in that ad..collection g me thinks...

I would

Rather be Jack of all trades rather than master of just one.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Pathway to paradise

Sense & (In) Sensibility

Every morning as I sit down with my cup of tea and the daily newspaper, the headlines that most often stare back at me go something like “Ash-Abhi tie the knot today”, “Richard Gere kisses Shilpa Shetty”, “Boy falls into pit – Rescue operations underway”. Meanwhile, on page 6, in microscopic print is a small article about a woman who has been brutally gang raped and paraded naked throughout her village in Maharashtra. The Abhiwarya wedding manages to sustain national attention for an entire week while the rape case is conveniently forgotten in a day.

This brings us to one of the pressing problems facing media today. Sensationalism. Tune into any of the twenty four hour news channels and all you get to see is the scene at Jalsa or Jhanvi Kapoor declaring to all and sundry that Abhishek Bachhan is her lover. In other news we have repeated telecast of the infamous Richard Gere – Shilpa Shetty kiss, which seems to have instigated protests from every corner of the country. If not that, we have live coverage of the young boy who has had the misfortune of falling into a drainage pit. The rescue operations are a reality show in themselves and last for hours at a stretch.

Media, today, also seems to have a new-found obsession with the F word – Food, Fashion and Films. Film critics haven’t had it better with each channel having a panel of it’s own to autopsy every new release. Fashion weeks are covered with great gusto and wardrobe malfunctions can transform you from a non-entity into a celebrity – as has been seen in the case of Carol Gracias. And much to the epicurean’s delight, news channels have daily programmes where famous chefs cook up exotic gastronomic delights.

The fourth estate has as its primary duty, the delivery of an impartial outlook on the current news. However, what is happening is quite to the contrary. Not only is the media being biased in its coverage, it is also sidelining important news while paying undue attention to the frivolous.

The police too seem to act hand in glove with the media. Little wonder that the security measures for the Bachhan wedding were close to Z class and the entire Mumbai police force was engaged in a hunt for the missing cell phone belonging to famous politician Vinod Khanna’s son. Meanwhile the same police refused to register complaints from rape victims and have blissfully ignored the complaints of the parents of the children who went missing in the Nithari case. Had the Noida police paid even a little heed to the laments of the poor parents, many innocent lives could have been saved.

This brings us to another lacuna in our society. Ours is a society where money speaks and when it speaks there are no deaf ears. Every tympanum is soundly tuned in and even the slightest whisper of a rustle of notes is picked up by many. No wonder the rich manage to so easily escape the clutches of the law. No wonder that the scales of justice are heavily tilted in favor of the wealthy. No wonder that justice is blind – blind to the heinous crimes that these people perpetrate on the not so fortunate. And the media too seems to turn a blind eye to all these injustices.

It was only a decade after the Jessica Lal killing that Manu Sharma was sentenced for life. It has been more than 23 years since the Bhopal gas Tragedy but the victims are still running around in bureaucratic labyrinths for the relief promised to them. It has been a few months since the Nithari killings came to light but the guilty haven’t yet been punished. Justice delayed is justice denied. And millions of Indians have been denied their birthright.

India might have gained independence in 1947, but its citizens are still under oppression – oppression by the politicians, and by the rich and the powerful. Most people have resigned themselves to their fates and have given up the will to fight. Their spirit has been sucked out of them and they are merely monotonous robots going about their lives mechanically. In the few cases that people have raised their voices against the injustice meted out to them, they have been swiftly silenced. The murders of the engineers who threw light on the Golden Quadrilateral Scam and the petrol bunk scam are known to each of us. Ours is a democracy only in title. In truth, we live in a dictatorial nation where the politicians have an army of their own to dispense justice.

It is not just the right to justice that we have been denied, but even the right to freedom of expression. The Vishwa Hindu Parishad and the Shiv Sena think not twice before protesting on silly issues like Valentine’s Day and Rakhi Sawanth’s lack of clothes while turning a blind eye to the many other gargantuan problems that our society faces.

Murderers and terrorists are roaming free on the roads and are even being elected to the Parliament whereas innocent artists are jailed for being bold in their artistic expressions. Apathy reigns. Man has become indifferent and cynical. The good old days of camaraderie remain a thing of the past. Technology seems to have boomed in leaps and bounds but it has done little to improve the standard of living of the masses. Skyscrapers dot the skyline of cities but close by, the slums proliferate in numbers. Life is a mere existence for millions and a burden for many others. But it is not these millions that are newsworthy. It is only the champagne sporting socialites in Page 3 that are worthy of newsprint and reel.

What has become of conscience? Is there any reason to hope for a better tomorrow? Will there be justice ever? Questions are aplenty but who will answer them. The current state of affairs might even make an atheist find truth in the Hindu myth of the Kaliyuga. Is there a Kalki who will come and deliver justice? Or is the media, the Kalki that has taken the wrong path and is exacerbating the situation instead of redressing it. It is high time the media takes a reality check and starts performing its duties as it is supposed to.


p.s. this is the essay that got me through to iijnm

p.p.s. special thanks to all who read through the essay. and for all their valuable advise..lift your collar, twirl your moustache, pat your back, give urself a hug...

p.p.p.s. i always confuse between advice and advise

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Stray thoughts

why do people give so much importance to respect in words.. isnt it the respect in ur heart that matters..

jus realised how cool appa is. i am blessed

bengaluru was fun. frustrating but fun. managed to shock everyone with the new avatar. used to hate our pallakad iyer weddings but not anymore.

i have officially stopped hating people. and life is a lot easier.

i have officially started orkutting majorly..mast timepass it is. and muchos fun is derived by snubbing people..

parents like to show off their lil kids...and my blog is my lil kid..and i like to show it off...

destination bengaluru. the call finally came... i have found the calling and the calling has found me too this time. after much trial and error. tried c.a., c.s, cat and lemme see..yeah, law...for various reasons.. all wrong. and finally we strike gold. nay diamonds. nay words...for they r the most precious

talking about gemstones. was talking to su who is doing her gemmology. babe can now identify the real from the fake.the fake costs 12bucks while the real runs into a couple of dozen 0's. asked her to keep a bunch of fakes for me aside.

money matters. but satisfaction matters more.

everyone is selfish. and that's the way they should be. altruism sucks.

you can never live and let live.

freedom of expression..hmm..cnn ibn community has funny insights. me finds it no wrong. me thinks do what you want as long as you are not harming me. call me a pig for all i care.and ya...u can paint the invisible pink unicorn naked too. no issues. but wait...it already is naked..hey ya...maybe you could paint it in a burqa and then i could come throw like 27 bricks on ur glass windows..cos clothing offends me. live in chennai and u'll know why.

but dont get ur hopes high... no..birthday suits are taboo. for other reasons.

blogging is destressing. as are cold showers..

i started off this post thinking of ranting for a while...turns out i had just one rant.

train trips are great bonding sessions. this one especially so. tears, laughter, yelling, consoling...all was done...

i hate mixed feelings. why cant i be just happy or just sad. there is always sorrow in my joy and joy in my sorrow. aaarrrgghhhh...makes me want to pull out my left eyeball and shove it down a cockroaches' throat. i chose left cos i am almost blind in my left...or wait.. i could pull out bush's left eye instead. must try.

neend pukar rahi hai...and i mustn't ignore

i love receiving hate mail. shows that people are jealous...

and i find anon's pretty cowardly.

i must go now.. yawning @ 2.3 yawns per second

loads to write.. so much time... and so much indolence...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Crappy conversations 4

So its 3.30 in the morning...just landed at bangalore...walking on the empty platform..me and pashu were discussing today's yet to be played match.roland garros.federer vs nadal.

Pashu: Akka, i don't really want to come for the reception tonight. Must watch match.

Me: Agreed. federer or nadal?

Pashu: nadal

Me: yay..high five...

Pahu: shouldn't miss....its like clash of the.....

Me: Titans??

Pashu: no...just one titan is there...

Me: aahh yes..titan and timex...

Pashu: ahhh...u make me want to jump onto the tracks in front of that fast approaching train.

Me: then my work here is done :D

yup...i can hear u groan...but i am highly sleep deprived and i am a huge fan of pj's. slept 3 hrs in the last two days. and not because i don't have the time..too many things running in the head..i just discovered that my mind is most fertile when i am tense and insomniacal. and that i get unbearably loquacious at times like these. and that i love using fancy words.. and that i admire arrogance and pride more than humility and modesty.. and that i get philosophical at times like these..and that i might be blogging a bit too often...and that i sometimes don't know when to stop..and that it's not really that i don't know when to stop, but that i want to continue anyway...but this laptop is not my cuppa chai...gimme the desktop anyday...atleast when it comes to typing..so i shall stop..i know this post isnt well formatted...but i dunno who to blame..so i shall blame the rat in the compartment that kept scurrying about, giving me the creeps.. saw a cockroach too :D

p.s. bangalore is a welcome relief after chennai...keeping my fingers crossed...

p.p.s. i have already sold the movie rights for the book i am gonna write 23 years down the line...

p.p.p.s. i want to continue this....but as i said..laptops...naa....so ciao...

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Addicted

Yup, i have definitely gotten addicted to blogging. there are very few addictions i have...and i am proud of all of them..going to catch a train to bangalore in a few mins. dad is yeling at me to come.. so i gotta leave. but i just wanted to say goodbye and warn you of a two day hiatus. but well, i might always find internet there. if i get bored of my cute neice that is. doubt it. but u never really know with addictions!!!!

till then...adios...

p.s. i used to hate the bangaloreans cos i thought them so wannabe...but opinions have changed.

Crappy conversations 3

So i was telling amma about avi..so i told her that he was from d.a.v. and that he was in kurukshetra now. here's hows it went

Me: so amma...this kid...avi..he's from your school only..cute guy. says i am his blog guru and all :D

Amma: oh. so what's he doing now??

Me: well. he is in kurukshetra now

Amma: Oh wow. what's he doing there

Me: he is doing his M.Sc in the causes for the mahabharatha war

amma: really???wow. that is so interesting

Me:


So yeah...she actually believed it..me mommy can get really gullible at times. and unfortunately it's passed on to me. though i am a lot more careful.

p.s. miss archi and the pranks we used to play... distance doesnt seem to have deterred us though and we have successfully carried out a few long distance pranks as well. s will vouch for it :D

Friday, June 08, 2007

the music tag

Picked up this tag somewhere. You got to enqueue all the songs in your system onto winamp.. Activate the toggle shuffle thing and start answering the questions on your life entrusting your fate in the hands of winamp player. Was fun….here are the results..


1. How does the world see me??
main rahi bhatakne wala hoon – didn’t know I had this song. Don’t like it much. But yes, it kind of fits. Many have told me that I am highly unstable and I am a gypsy of sorts.

2. What do my friends think about me?
oasis she is love - ah, yes. Very true: D

3. What shud I do with my life?
jhoomti chali hawa . Again agree. I like to take things in my stride…go with the flow…wow. this tag is good.

4. How will I be remembered?
Justin timberlake rock your body - ouch…I knew it was too good to last too long. So now I am gonna be objectified???sheesh

5.Whats my signature dancing number?
kaho na kaho murder – is tht even dancable..though I must say highly visually appealing.

6. What song shall be played on my wedding?
lustra Scotty doesn’t know tee hee. Gotta be the funniest answer. And I am pretty sure A would agree with the choice..

7. What song shall be played on my funeral?
mere yaar mila de saathiya - ahh…apt again. Sad songs for sad occasions. Though some people might prefer happier songs with lyrics like “good riddance of bad rubbish”

8. The song 4 my frnds…
teri yaad dil se bhulane chala main – disagree. And hearing this song for the first time as well.where did all these songs come from???

9. 4 my family
aye dile awara chal – erm….


11.Song 4 ppl I don’t like!!
mitwa o mitwa lagan – hehehhe…sarcastically maybe

12.Whatz in my head during lectures?
aao naaa - ?????More like jao naaa

13.Whatz my job gonna be like??
mj stranger in moscow – egads. Why me???? But I always wanted to see the kremlin…

14.Whtz the song 4 my future mom-in-law??
Euphoria aana tu meri gulli – heh…well, if that be so guess I will be lucky.

15. Finally, some thoughts on myself..
tujhe dekha tho yeh jaana sanam ddlj – bang on!or not??? Confused!!!

So yeah, the tag was fun… and I pass it on to swat, nivi, ganesh, sanju, avi, adi, sriram,kinni and vishy. Now did I leave anyone out…sorry if I did,but do complete the tag….and yeah, for all the non bloggers, try it as well.. It’s fun. And my comments section is always at its disposal.

p.s. I hate waiting for phone calls. For the first time I sat by the phone waiting for a call. And it never came.

p.p.s. I read a funny letter today. A formal letter, an application I guess which used the word “kind” 5 times. I counted. And I cracked up. Some people!!!

p.p.p.s. went to amethyst with N and P. was fun. And surprising how perspective changes. Used to hate that place cos I when I went there 3 years ago, there were too many people inhaling nicotine and the crowd seemed too wannabe and the menu seemed over-priced. Now, the smokers still exist but I discovered they have a non-smoking section, the rates are the same but I find it affordable now. And the crowd seemed a lot less artificial today. And I spotted a gay guy: D and I had iced cappuchino and potato wedges and butterscotch milkshake… and I see drool dripping….heh

p.p.p.p.s wow, that’s 4 in a row. I am on a roll.

p.p.p.p.p.s.: couldn’t resist. This is fun.

p.p.p.p.p.p.s: ahh… I know I must stop.. But I am loving it…btw, mac d brings back nice memories.

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: some kid is singing piya tose on tv. Reminds me of autooo….check out tht post if u haven’t. I could link it up, but feeling a tad lazy.

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: got headache for the first time in a long while…..ouches….

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: I am tired of typing all the p’s

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s : I know I could cut paste…but wouldn’t that be complicating things???

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: cute kid called dhyaan had come home today. Gave him a small hershey’s choclate. He surprisingly refused. Then I got him a bigger bar of 5 star. He happily took it. Guess patience pays. Kids these days are a smart lot. And dhyaan is a nice name. Me likes.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: amma just fed me gulab jamun. Yumm.. and she’s such a sweetheart.

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: ok, I can see you all mad at me. So I shall stop.

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: but wait. I had a question. How often do u want me to post???

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: oki, now I stop

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: or not

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: oki, the fingers hurt..and interesting chat conversations in progress. Therefore its goodbye…and good luck…and buenas nuchos….thts Spanish for good night…btw, me started learning Spanish…I knew how to say fuck off in spanish but I forgot… will have to find that one soon. Have begun swearing a lot of late… phew..long post. I am drained out..adios…

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Oh! Save me!

Squiggling through the tiny holes
Mere seconds before death strikes
Hit me not, I cry in anguish
For he doesn’t even realize

The deadly venom in his eyes
I can’t even fathom barely,
The look of comprehension I oft desire
I can’t even perceive rarely.

Little doth he realize, that
Come have I, a message with
To deliver unto him, the Ultimate Truth
That Doomsday is NOT but a myth

Oh! But little did he listen
Said nope aye-nay, never
And thus frivolously did he seal
The world’s precious fate forever

For he would rather be buried alive
Than listen to me – a mere roach
But now that the wrath of the seas is upon him,
Do I hear him say – “Oh! Save me cockroach!”


so yeah...as u guessed this is a narrative by a cockroach who tries to warn man about doomsday. as is his nature, man turns a deaf ear and perishes while only the cockroach survives the nuclear explosion.

i wrote this poem while my humble abode was under the attack of the cockroaches. i think this was the day a little roach accidentally climbed up my arm when i was chatting with a friend on yahoo messenger. the next day, the pest control was called for and they double handedly managed to exterminate the whole lot. what a holocaust it was! the death toll was as high as 243 (figures 93% accurate). this poem is one of my personal favorites. hope you enjoy it as well.

p.s. pardon the highly disgusting pic. i couldn't resist.

Elephants don't fly



How I wish I had known you when we were innocent kids – building castles in the playpen. Me building them, you trying to destroy them. Of when your troop of G.I.Joes would wage war against my barbies. Of us playing gully cricket and you bowling me out for a duck every single time. Of when you would climb the wall, precariously, to fetch the ball, then fall and come running home with bloody knees, and yet not shed a single tear while I put ice on your wounds.
How I wish I knew you in those early adolescent years when nothing seemed to make sense. How is miss those long conversations we would have had on life, the universe and everything in it. How I wish I knew you in those days when we had sleepovers on the terrace, gazing at the sky till dawn, naming imaginary constellations. And those little fights we would have had when you ran away with my hair band. How I wish you were the shoulder to cry on when I had fought with my parents. But wishes aren’t horses and elephants don’t fly(except if eagles assist them). So all I can say is that I am glad you finally entered my life and showed me what heaven on earth would be like.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

A few of my favourite things

Many believe that happiness is the most elusive thing in the world. That the world is going to the dogs, and there are no reasons to be happy. That you would have to be an imbecile if you could find and relish even an iota of happiness in this mad mad world. To them I say, maybe I am that imbecile. For I face no drought of the little things that make my heart smile. Life does offer a large platter of simple pleasures – of every kind. It is just that some people try too hard to pick the best, that the rest just slip away. As for me, gluttony is my forte and I pick as many as I can. And savor each of them.

Well, here is a list of the things I picked from the platter.

Summer breezes: Imagine walking on a busy road, the sun soaring in the sky, burning your back, the vehicles honking rudely at you, asking you to get out of their way, people hurrying past you with a mountain load of worries on their head, and you fretting over whether you will reach your destination in time. And suddenly this cool breeze blows your way. It’s neither too strong that you are blown away, not too mild that you don’t even feel it. Just as gentle as a lover’s caress. Tenderly blowing your hair off your face. Making you stand still among the crowds that rush past you. Eyes closed. Secretly thanking Mother Nature for this surprise gift she suddenly decides to bestow upon you.

Solving the crossword with Appa: I still remember how in the beginning I would just get one or two clues right and that would make me dance with joy. Literally. It’s fun, sitting late into the night, ruminating over the cryptic clues, asking Chambers for some assistance, deciphering the anagrams, having appa complain about my handwriting when I fill in the clues, doodling all over the page pondering over what the right word is, making a mess of the crossword by filling in all the wrong answers, and the rare occasions of infinite joy when we successfully complete it. Ah!

Hajmola: In all sizes and shapes. The one rupee packets with 6 golis in them. Deciding how to divide the 6 among the 5 of us equally. The 50 ps ones in pink and green. All of us fighting for pink and ignoring poor green. The big bottle with almost 50 pieces in them. We bought that just once and it got over in 3 hours flat I guess. Between the 3 of us. I love the tangy aftertaste that it leaves in your mouth.

Dancing in the middle of the road: Yup, I have been certified insane. Just a few days ago I had taken the dog for a walk. And I kinda had the road to myself. Was listening to music on the phone. Don’t quite remember the song but I was quite happy just then and I broke into a little jig. And it felt sooooooo good.

Playing ad game with the boys: It’s this game bhai invented in which you have to guess which ad it is. Usually we play girls vs boys and it’s a delight. Fighting over who guessed it right first, arguing over the of points, screaming like mad… under this I would also like to include all the other lil games we play like dumbsharades and pictionary and taboo et al..

Catching up on old episodes of Friends: A lazy Sunday afternoon, you switch on the tv hoping for some mindless entertainment and there it is, that episode from season three when Chandler is stuck in an ATM vestibule and Rachel runs into Pavlov.. And you have a bowl of peanuts to munch on while you cuddle up in your sofa and laugh at their antics. Sweet joy.

Bookstores: any bookstore. Just the smell of books is alluring enough. And actually getting to sit and browse through is a satiating experience. And what with stores like oxford that have a built-in cafĂ©, that’s like combining my two favourite things – books and food. And ooo, talking about browsing through bookstores, I remember this one time C and me had bunked an exam and gone to landmark. We had three hours to kill and did we make good use of it or what. We even took a sneak peek into the illustrated version of the kamasutra but had to hurriedly put it back when an old lady started glaring at us. Tee hee.

Reading old letters: I have this big red box full of the letters I have received. Not many. Just a few. But every once in a while, I sit down to read them, and it get all lumpy in the throat.

Playing with kids: So some previous posts of mine must have already established how much I love kids. And from personal experiences you must agree with me that a child’s laughter is the sweetest sound in the world. I really enjoy playing with kids of all sizes and shapes. From babies in diapers to 7 year old brats. I love listening to the make-believe stories they tell. And watching them fight over silly things. And play all those childish games.


There are many more to this list but the little watchdog in the back of my mind is saying this post is getting a tad too long. So I shall stop at this. And wait for reader feedback. So you tell me oh esteemed reader, what are the simple things in life that give you pleasure. Go on. Spit it out.


P.S. Sorry for this delay. A few things kept me busy through the month. I solemnly swear to be more regular henceforth.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

CRAP ALERT

So I was watching Gemini Music along with the boys today as the Set Top Box (that weird contraption that is a must in Chennai if you want access to cable TV) was malfunctioning. Now why Gemini Music ask you... Nostalgia, say I. Yup, I do sorely miss Hyderabad. Anyhow, I digress. Ahem! Where was I??? Yes, Gemini music. So, there was this show in which callers call in and request the song while senders send in SMS’s which are proudly displayed on the screen throughout the whole duration of the show. Yeah, yeah, I know that you all have seen such shows but there might be a few of you out there for whom such hilarious channels stand banned by principle of avoiding all things nonsensical. So yeah, this post is for you all. At least now you’ll know how much in life you are missing if u don’t tune into channels like Gemini music, Sun music, Maa TV and the likes.

Anyway, we were watching some of the hilarious songs (Pavan Kalyan [Mega star Chiranjeevi’s brother for the uninitiated] wearing two pants and 2 shirts…a few buttons provocatively left open ….running around the trees with Meera Jasmine) when all of a sudden we spot the SMS’s appearing on the screen. Hilarious would be an understatement. I proudly present to you some of the gems highlighted in Bold. And yeah, all this is verbatim. None of them are figments of my imagination. I swear on The Almighty FSM. The comments in the brackets however are all courtesy yours truly. Pardon me if they make you cringe. They were meant to.


I 143 U Ra (Hmmm… Robert Langdon please help me….what’s 143 code for now????)

I love my wife Priyanka (Milky). Why you not love me? Why you cheet me? (No, Cheet was not a typo on my part. As I said, all this is what came on the idiot box)

M: Ragul I love you (now that’s what SRK would be called if his movies were dubbed in Tamil. Oh Ragul!!!!)
We love Ambika (Ah….the sharing kind I see.. nice nice)

Venke: Hai Hasham. Call me back. Venke. (Now is it just me or do both venke and hasham sound like boy names??)

Ravi (co): I L U Shanti (Even corporates into this rigmarole??)

Swathi: I love Swathi (Now you know what the heights of ego-mania is )

Cobra: I miss you. I love you Sony (o0o0o0o….. I didn’t know venomous snakes fell in love with television channels)

Samba: Hi Kallu, have a nice day. (I am waiting now for Jai and Veeru to show up.. Sigh!!!)

Nani: I love you so much Prasu 143 (143) (143) please call me (hey, I tried that number like 143 times but no grandma picks it up)

Satish: Hai ra Keeru. Many happy returns of the day to my bangaru (that rhymes!!!)

Bacchi: Hai Archana. Please call me 107 (I tried that number also. But was connected to the municipal sewerage and drain management board..pbbbt…)

Hasini Parvatipuram: Hai Srimatigaru. I got reservations. I am starting on Friday Bangalore. Venkat (Hi Venkat. I hope Srimatigaru comes in a local tonga to come pick you up from the station. You didn’t mention the train timings though)

Priyanka: I love you Mala (Hmm….Lesbian love looms large)

Sneha: I luv my parents (You go girl, you would have made Karan Johar proud)


P.S. Bhai decides to have some fun and sends in an SMS which goes something like “Shanky: Sanka Nakadu”. (Sanka Nakadu = Lick your armpit). :D

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Patiiiiiiiiii..............


A grandmother is someone who has silver in her hair and gold in her heart.

So first off let me start with what triggered the idea of this post. I had, as usual, gone to the park for my evening walk. And there was this pati(for the non-tamilians , pati = grandma) who is also a regular and whom i smile at everyday. So she was sitting on a bench and i went up and said hello. And when I passed her again, she calls me and tells me that I am looking very pretty :). And mind you, I was out for a walk, so i was dressed in an old pair of pedal pushers, a t-shirt, hair tied up, and sweating like a horse from all the humidity that Chennai so lovingly bestows on us. And there she is, complimenting me. I turned beet red and for the rest of the evening, was walking with a wide smile on my face. And then was when i thought how precious grandmothers are. And what better way to acknowledge them than to dedicate a post to them...

Well, let me first start of with my own two grandmothers. Dad's mom (whom we call patima) stays with us. And if there is one word other than "loving" that describes her, it is "indefatigable". Well, even that would be an understatement. At the over ripe age of 75, she is still soo active that it never ceases to amaze me. And is she beautiful or what!!! The complexion of snow, hair as black as the night, sharp features, a very ethnic beauty and a golden heart to match the exterior. And how can i fail to mention the gastronomic delights that she conjures up every single day. Seriously, she's the best cook in the world. And like all grandmas, she always comes up with a home remedy when i am down with a cold or a sore throat, or complaining of hair fall, or pimples. Also, i must mention that she is quite well read and takes an active interest in politics and Indian cricket, the latter being a source of constant agony.

Here's a pic of her in action, at the tawa, making pesarettu :



And now moving over to Mom's mom. Now i cant really claim to know much of her cos she lives in Bhilai and we get to see her only once in a couple of years. but from whatever little i know of her, she's a real darling. the gentlest, most softspoken and most down to earth person i have ever come across. And she has this really endearing style of speaking in which she stresses on every syllable and says it very slowly. I had inherited that as well, but due to much ridicule from family and friends, i soon lost it.

Here's a pic of her in the courtyard, and thats my naughty little cousin that u see in the pic:



Apart from these, there are many other grandmas i know. There's another one in the park who gets all excited on seeing me, makes me sit next to her, holds my hand, and tells me all about her cruel Daughter-in-laws. And there are the grandmas of some of my friends, who are oh-so -sweet. Well, i could go on and on, but my dinner is getting cold so i better wrap up.

And oh yeah, i forgot to mention, i love the soft wrinkly feel of a grandmas skins... Esp on the ear lobes. Almost as soft as a baby's bottom.

So yeah, I sign of by saying that every house needs a grandma.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Paradise lost and regained

Paradise Lost: Chennai summer sets in. Intense perspiration commences.






Paradise regained: Ah! Mangoes!!!! And yup, those are the exact mangoes that i ate :) Now do i see envy in your eyes and drool dripping from your mouth :D



Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Kili Josyam


So the other day I met up with N at coffee day. Now, like most other coffee shops, this one too provides very few avenues for entertainment. So unless you have a real spunky bunch of gals willing to belly dance atop one of the table, there is little else to do than simply sip your coffee over some hushed conversation. We therefore decided to set off to the beach. Enroute, we stopped by at the Kotturpuram Park. Ah! Beauty!

Anyhow, so we reach Eliots Beach and walk up, to the inviting waters. A little bit of feet wetting later, we were just standing on the soft sands, enjoying the sea breeze blowing our tresses into a mighty mess, when this old man approached us with a parrot in a cage and a stack of cards in his hand. Kili Josyam!!! For the uninitiated, it’s this ancient thingy that we have in India, where the parrot picks out a card from a stack and that card, in some strange cosmic way, can tell us about our past present and future. Believe it or not!!!

Anyhow, our first reaction was a firm No. But not so firm it seems for N soon relented and decided to go for it. And what else could I do but go along. And gladly I did for who can say no to a little birdie who says it will predict your fortunes. So that is how this seemingly innocent but extremely vicious adventure began.

The parrot first picked out a card for N and it a very rosy picture of his future was painted. Travel abroad, loads of dabbu, good wife yada yada. And then it was the turn of yours truly. And guess what the birdie picks up??? A snake and a lizard. Eeks!!! And obviously lizards and snakes don’t make a good future. So the man prattled on about how I had supposedly stepped on a piece of lemon that was used to take drishti of a woman who had aborted a child and therefore I have this dosham thingy. Didn’t get it?? Don’t worry, neither did I!!! And then he went on to tell me all sorts of crap, which I shall spare you from. But yes, there were bits about how I would bring bad luck to my family if that dosham was not removed. And to remove it, I was supposed to pay 650 bucks to him, get a golden foil kinda thingy, drop it in the ocean along with a rupee and feed cow bananas for 3 days. All that and then I would have a blissful life and my family would no longer be accursed. Me and N were obviously in splits all along and I think the man and his birdie were deeply offended to see us laughing over the whole thing. But what the heck!!! Anyhow, he seemed pretty insistent on the 650 bucks ka ritual and kept on pestering us for the money. Said that I was like his little sister and he had only my welfare in mind. The liar!!! Didn’t relent even when we showed him our empty wallets. Finally we told him that we would be back same place same time on Saturday and only then did he take leave of us. So that was our whole mystic experience with the green bird and the wicked man.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Tagged...

Hey all. Firstly i apologise for this hibernation of mine.... I could give you a dozen reasonable excuses and a few unreasonable one's like say, the dog ate up my blog :).... par khair, ab tho mein aa hi gayi tho posts ka silsila zaari rahega...

Hope you guys liked the previous post...Do post your precious comments... Anyhow, i have been tagged by Nivi and here is my reply to the tag.... In return i tag Sriram and Avi...

1.Were you named after anyone? I don’t think so.
2. Do you wish on stars? Yeah….Only on shooting stars…
3. When did you last cry? Think it was a week ago
4. Do you like your handwriting? Depends. Most of the time it is pretty much ok..
5. What is your favourite meat? No, thank you.
6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf? None that I can think of
7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? definitely
8.Are you a daredevil? Occasionally
9. How do you release anger? Depends on who I am angry at. If its someone I can yell at, I do… else I sulk…
10. Where is your second home? Athai’s house
11. Do you trust others easily? Nah
12. What was your favourite toy as a child? Hmmm…tough question cos I don’t remember much of my childhood…
13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless? Well, I think they all have their uses…
14. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Used to…
15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Now what’s that???
16. What do you look for in a guy/girl? i try not to look for much… its better to accept them as they are
17. Would you bungee jump? Sure
18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nah, too lazy to bend down and untie the lace.
19. What's your favourite ice cream? Chocolate chip
20. What are your favourite colours? Black white blue and yellow
21. What are your least favourite things? That’s a bloody long list
22. How many people do you have a crush on right now? No comments
23. Who do you miss most right now? No comments again :)
24. What are you listening to right now? Hum hain rahi pyaar ke (the old one)
25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Bright yellow
26. What is the weather like right now? Sultry
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? Chitti
28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex? I know his sounds superficial as hell, but yah, their looks.
29. Do you like the person who sent you this? Love her
30. How are you today? Glad to be back home finally
31. Favourite non alcoholic drink? Water
32. Favourite alcoholic drink? I don’t drink alcohol
33. Natural hair colour? Brown
34. Eye colour? Brownish black
35. Wear contacts? Yup
36. Siblings? A pesky little brother
37. Favourite month? December
38. Favourite food? Interminably looong list…Don’t even get me started
39. Favourite day of the year? None in particular
40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out? Yup…
41. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings
42. Summer or winter? Winter
43. Holi or Diwali? Deepavali.
44. Do you like your name? Ya. Its ok…but if I could name me then it wouldn’t have been Shilpa for sure…
45. What book/magazine are you reading? The English Teacher, R.K.Narayanan
46. What's on your mouse pad? Don't have one.
47. What did you watch on TV last night? CNN-IBN Afternoon News
48. Favourite Smell? Fragrance of wet earth
49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone? Not at all
50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done? Studying for some of my exams…

Bilaspur Express


"Ting ting ting. Train No.2852 Bilaspur Express from Chennai to Bilaspur will depart shortly from platform no.1". We hurriedly kissed goodbye and settled down in our berths. I suddenly discovered that there were rats rumbling in my tummy. Though I had just consumed a hearty dinner of 4 dosas, a couple of dhoklas and a large glass of orange Tang, my stomach still growleth and I rushed to gratify it. And chocolate cake it was. Two sumptuous pieces of home-made choco cake and Mr. Pet(read pate) was sufficiently appeased.
Now obviously sleep followed. And a blissful one at that. Fourteen hours straight. I had broken my own records. Then again it was time for some more "pet puja"(Well,yeah, it’s an eternal cycle). So now it was time for some yumm sandwiches and a cup of piping, hot tea. Followed, of course, by some more cake. (If I were chosen to represent one of the seven sins, it would definitely have to be gluttony)
And then I sat next to the window, gazing out lazily onto the lush green fields, when this thought struck me – "Hey! Now this will make a decent blog post". So that, ladies and gentlemen, is how it all began. While scribbling busily on to my notepad I was interrupted by a shout of "masala channa!masala channa!".i jumped with elation ,and demanded pounced on the owner of this mellifluous voice "dus rupaiye ka channa" ah! Heaven!

Anyhow, I can see you all drooling over your keyboards and ,that’s bad hygiene ,so let’s move over to things less unhygienic. Well, there are two things I enjoy most about train journeys. First is the food (Duh!) and second, the sights.

So now moving over from food for the palate to food for the eye. My acutely myopic eyes, aided by Zeiss spectacle lens, witnessed an array of beautiful sights. The soft blue sky melting into the earth at the horizon, the lush green fields with the long grass swaying to the tunes of the hot breeze, the many huts – dotting the rich, brown earth, the serene ponds and lakes with green weed floating on them, the many cows and buffaloes holding conference amongst themselves, the dull red brick-kilns, the various rocks – some shaped like animals, some like you and me, the magnificent mountains rising gently to ultimately reach a crescendo, the beauteous flora of many wild colours - pinks, reds, purples and blues, the long winding queues of vehicles at railway crossings and last but the best, the little kids waving gleefully at the passing trains. And to think that these director duds go all the way to Switzerland when there is soo much beauty in our own backyards.
This apart, there are quite a few "items" you get to meet inside the train as well. For starters, there is the ubiquitous uncle who seems to have something to say on everything from politics, the Godhra carnage, the wather and my hairstyle. He is of course accompanied by the aunty with an akshayapatram of snacks – muruku, thengozhal, mixture, sweets, chips, chocolates, you name it and she has it. Ten there is the quintessential morose couple whose mouths are sealed with invisible cellotape and the only noise they emit are inaudible grunts.

And then there are the kids – some, little angels and some, little devils.

Anyhow, it’s time for me to wrap up for I can hear distant shouts of " Ice cream, Ice cream, Vanilla, Strawberry Ice cream!!!" so goodbye my dear reader(s) and hog aplenty.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Happy in the tummy

Isn't it surprising how a single phone call can make your day. Doesn't it feel great when an old friend calls you up after ages. The conversation might last all of two minutes but still, it leaves you happy in the tummy, to know that someone has remembered you and made the effort to call you up. In this day of hustle-bustle, with people who have time to check their e-mail 134 times a day but are incredibly busy when it comes to keeping in contact with friends, it does indeed seem like a miracle when someone reaches out to you.

Why am i saying all this? Well, you all must have read about the park next to home which i frequent on almost a daily basis. Last summer i befriended a thata(Grandpa). we would walk every evening for close to an hour, talking about all things under the moon - right from Karunanidhi's rowdyism, to Federer's brilliant performance, to names for his expectant grandson. I never had a real connection with either of my grandpa's - one of them passed away when i was young and another lived in a different town. So he filled in that void in my life. For a few months. And it felt nice.

Then I stopped going to the park for a while and he moved to a different locality and we lost contact. But then, he called this evening, a few minutes ago, and it was like old times again. We spoke for a short while, enquired about each other's health and families and promised to keep in touch. i don't know how long it will be before i talk to him again. But this short conversation has surely touched a chord in my heart. And i am happy in the tummy.

Bam!!!!

So now we have newspapers reporting the fall and rise of the President. Literally. Hmmm. Soon we will have headlines like "Manmohan Singh scratches his belly during Assembly", or "Laloo Farts while presenting Rail Budget" :)

Times sure have changed......

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Crappy Conversation 2

(Me and chitti (aunt) having a conversation about her school)

Me: So, chitti... What's new in school?
Chitti: Hmmm... I saw that friend of yours today.. The one with the goat's beard..


Need I say more!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Scream!!!!!!!!

Her eyes were a deathly still
Her voice, unheard of
Unless it were the screams
When she saw little children
Little innocent babies they were
But she shrieked aloud - a banshee
Until you were deaf from the noise
They thought her to be insane
A poor loony whom war had made thus



But only she knew the real truth
Oh how she missed her dear baby
And how much she loved her little child
And how vividly she remembered that Night
The loud footsteps, the terrifying gunshots,
The banging on the door, the hiding-pronto,
The murmured whispers, the stifled cry
Of her baby, a little too stifling
And now she always screamed when she saw babies


------- Shilpa Krishnan

Friday, January 12, 2007

Who?


What do you do

When your heel is broken

Or your strap is off

And your sole is gone

A busy day ahead

An important meeting to attend

A mountain load of work

What do you do?


Whom do you beg

At these times of despair

For a few seconds of theirs

Beg for an act of finesse

Such finesse, they say

Or an expert opinion

At this eleventh hour

Whom do you beg?


Who has with him

Tools of every kind

Unimaginable, inexplicable

Incomprehensible and sacred

And it’s owner, worshippable

You might even want to

In his honor, build a temple

Who may He be?


Who may he be

But a lowly cobbler

Whom when you cross on the road

You carefully step aside

Barely acknowledge him

Though helped you he has

In many an hour of need

FOR WHO SAYS HELLO TO A COBBLER?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Ring in the new

Contrary to popular belief that I have attained sainthood and am in my heavenly abode, I would like to clarify that I am very much alive and kicking. So you might ask me why this loooooong absence from the blog world. Well, I f I haven’t mentioned earlier, one of my ancestors was a bear and so it was hibernation period for me.

Anyhow, not to worry, for I am back and here to stay. As happens with most people who return after a long sojourn, I underwent great dilemmas on deciding a topic to blog upon. Until a friend asked me to blog on the most obvious – New Year Resolutions.

Now New Year Resolutions (NYR’s) are the most commonly made but least kept promises. I don’t know a single person whose resolution has lasted the entire year. So I came up with this ingenious plan. That being to phase out my plan over the year and refresh it on every festival. It’s definitely easier to keep your resolution for 10-20 days by which time a festival will definitely spring up. Hopefully the plan works. So far, it has 

So here goes my list of NYR’s :

*Shed a few pounds. ( Am religiously doing Yoga everyday)
*Brush twice a day (Weird ain’t I)
*Study atleast for an hour a day (Except on Sundays and holidays(This resolution
wouldn’t be here if not for amma dearest))
*Sleep for not more than nine hours a day (I thought of makin it 8, but naah…that
would be too taxing on me)
*Talk less, smile more and laugh a lot (I can manage the last two but the first could
be a problem)
*Not spend more than 3 hours online (Now this is proving to be a real toughie)
*Read a lot of good books and watch a lot of good movies (My favourite NYR)
*And a few secret resolutions (Shhhhhh…….)

Well, that’s it from my end…I had a few whacky resolutions of some of my friends but they forbade me from putting it online. Damn them...

Anyway, here’s wishing you all a verry verry happy new year.