Kili Josyam

So the other day I met up with N at coffee day. Now, like most other coffee shops, this one too provides very few avenues for entertainment. So unless you have a real spunky bunch of gals willing to belly dance atop one of the table, there is little else to do than simply sip your coffee over some hushed conversation. We therefore decided to set off to the beach. Enroute, we stopped by at the Kotturpuram Park. Ah! Beauty!

Anyhow, so we reach Eliots Beach and walk up, to the inviting waters. A little bit of feet wetting later, we were just standing on the soft sands, enjoying the sea breeze blowing our tresses into a mighty mess, when this old man approached us with a parrot in a cage and a stack of cards in his hand. Kili Josyam!!! For the uninitiated, it’s this ancient thingy that we have in India, where the parrot picks out a card from a stack and that card, in some strange cosmic way, can tell us about our past present and future. Believe it or not!!!

Anyhow, our first reaction was a firm No. But not so firm it seems for N soon relented and decided to go for it. And what else could I do but go along. And gladly I did for who can say no to a little birdie who says it will predict your fortunes. So that is how this seemingly innocent but extremely vicious adventure began.

The parrot first picked out a card for N and it a very rosy picture of his future was painted. Travel abroad, loads of dabbu, good wife yada yada. And then it was the turn of yours truly. And guess what the birdie picks up??? A snake and a lizard. Eeks!!! And obviously lizards and snakes don’t make a good future. So the man prattled on about how I had supposedly stepped on a piece of lemon that was used to take drishti of a woman who had aborted a child and therefore I have this dosham thingy. Didn’t get it?? Don’t worry, neither did I!!! And then he went on to tell me all sorts of crap, which I shall spare you from. But yes, there were bits about how I would bring bad luck to my family if that dosham was not removed. And to remove it, I was supposed to pay 650 bucks to him, get a golden foil kinda thingy, drop it in the ocean along with a rupee and feed cow bananas for 3 days. All that and then I would have a blissful life and my family would no longer be accursed. Me and N were obviously in splits all along and I think the man and his birdie were deeply offended to see us laughing over the whole thing. But what the heck!!! Anyhow, he seemed pretty insistent on the 650 bucks ka ritual and kept on pestering us for the money. Said that I was like his little sister and he had only my welfare in mind. The liar!!! Didn’t relent even when we showed him our empty wallets. Finally we told him that we would be back same place same time on Saturday and only then did he take leave of us. So that was our whole mystic experience with the green bird and the wicked man.