There she goes

hey all...this is another article of mine that got published in the Indian express...


Last Monday, Rajasthan House at New Delhi played host to an interesting array of persons from all races, cultures and complexions. On the one hand were men clad in green, performing genuflections at periodic intervals, holding placards reading, "Get lost Naslima". On the other, were men, women and bald-headed babies from all over Planet Earth (except of course the green nations), holding placards that read some weird gibberish. Gibberish it was because these people were predominantly from third world countries and had written the placards in their native tongue. Since languages like Azerbaijani were not popular in India, it was hard to find a translator. Moreover, their shouts and cries of protest were also in those foreign languages and so it was hard to decipher what they were trying so hard to say. However, some ingenuous Indian journalists, with the help of the Universal Sign Language, managed to crack the code. These Third World protestors were shouting, "Come home to us, Naslima".

From Armenia to Zaire and from Burkina Faso to Tajikistan, most countries had their representatives clamouring for Naslima's attention. They all wanted the same thing. They wanted her to take asylum in their nation. However, Naslima wanted to disappear to the Bermuda. But the people of Bermuda were against this as they felt that her return would result in the resurfacing of several of the "Lost". These people would apparently resurface after being unable to tolerate Naslima's pathetic attempts at literature.

On the other hand, the residents of Virgin Islands were most welcoming to Naslima. One of the college students from this nation had done a thesis on Naslima and had arrived at the conclusion that she must be a virgin. And since the island gives asylum only to virgins, the officials at Virgin Islands said they would be most honoured to have Naslima with them. Naslima declined the offer saying she was no Virgin Mary.

Meanwhile, Naslima also announced her plans to translate her work into other languages. Primary among those are Yi, Yiddish and the Gibberish languages. She said she would also consider translating her work into Afrikaans and Hungarian.

On being questioned about where she wanted to stay, she replied that she would love to stay in India. However, not many places in India were willing to accept her. Finally, Jhoomri Talayya, a village in rural India welcomed her. The owner of Ramchand Footwear factory at Jhoomri Talayya gave her the job of writing in the accounts book. Whether she writes about the interesting rituals of Muslims or whether she actually concentrates on the accounts of Ramchand Footwear remains to be seen.