Think Pink

Cricketers worldwide have finally mustered enough courage and come out of the closet. Yes, they have openly declared their allegiance to Pink. And no, we are not talking about the music band that masquerades noise in the name of music but of the colour Pink that is so sacred to the gay community. And no, by gay we do not mean happy. So we have Mike Gatting, former England captain coming out in the open and making statements such as, “We have tried white and orange balls and perhaps pink ones will last longer. This is a very interesting and very wise development and a colour may have been found that is easier on the eye." And while the caption mentioned above is obsessing over the colour of his balls, we have the board coming up with many other suggestions to add some bling and zing to the gentleman’s game.

Taking inspiration from sports like tennis, it has been unanimously decided that even cricketers must strive to practice the principles of indecent exposure. Studies have shown that cricketers have fine legs (pun intended). Some may be short legs (pun intended again), but presented in the right light, they can be quite deadly as well. The board has therefore decided to substitute the boring pants with Pink hot shorts. And in an attempt to create the superman effect, the batsmen will now wear their protective guard over their Pink hot shorts.

Meanwhile, the board has noticed the latest trend among cricketers – that of sporting long, lustrous, wavy tresses. However, this has been found to be distracting to the opposition. Therefore, the board has made it mandatory for all cricketers with long hair to tie up their hair with red ribbons.

It has also been brought to the board’s attention by the cricketers themselves that their complexion is going for a toss. The board has therefore decided to hold all further matches in indoor stadiums. Moreover, after every four overs, there will be a make-up break. The make-up vans will roll onto the fields and the cricketers will be allowed to powder their noses.

Apart from all this, it has also been decided to inculcate the fine art of cheerleading into the sport of cricket. The extras and the substitutes touring along with the teams will be part of the cheer leading squad. Outfits for the same are being designed by the students National Institute of fashion Technology (NIFT), New Delhi.

Meanwhile, followers of the Invisible Pink Unicorn have appreciated the move of the cricket board to bring Pink into cricket and in honour of this move, have adopted cricket as their official sport. Hail the mighty Invisible Pink Unicorn.